Tails the Lawyer
by tails23
Summary: It's up to Tails to deal with the frivolous charges against Sonic and the obnoxious author who is constantly saying what he thinks and "breaking down the fourth wall". A story of EPIC proportions. Have fun reading!
1. The EPIC prologue begins!

**Tails the Lawyer**

_No!!! He's gone to the dark side! XD At least it'll be funny while he is…_

_Disclaimer: I am not saying anything about Barack Obama. This is fiction. My views are not necessarily expressed here and all that._

**Prologue**

Tails put on a suit. Ick. Suits. But he had to look good for today. At least the navy blue looked good on him. The 3-piece suit cost him 300 dollars, but it was worth it to help his best friend Sonic.

_Flashback_

"It's not my fault!!!" screamed the infuriated hedgehog.

"Oh yeah?! Well when you stepped on that speck there, you caused a huge unexplainable chain reaction that destroyed the building!" the policeman yelled back.

Sonic glared at the man. "This building collapsed because it SUCKS. AND the contractor didn't care to put in ANY of the screws. Now tell me again this is my fault." Sonic said while gritting his teeth.

"It's your fault."

"WHAT?!?!?"

_End flashback_

Tails stepped outside and felt a warm rush of air across his face's fur. The sun shone brightly and made the birdbath water outside of his house glitter beautifully. It was such a nice day.

"Well, at least riding in the Tornado will be enjoyable." Tails said quietly while looking up at the sky, mesmerized by the formation of suspended water molecules in the air. It was happening awfully fast.

BOOM!

It started to rain.

"Like I said. Enjoyable." Tails said confidently as he strode over to his faithful plane. He stepped into the cockpit and turned on the engine. After a few quick pre-flight tests, he took off into the suddenly violent thunderstorm.

The air was chilling. The wind was howling. The sky was darkening. The author was using way too many simple sentences. Tails didn't care. He ignored all of that. Except for the author who he simply didn't realize was there.

"Don't worry Sonic! I won't let you down!" he shouted as he flew higher and higher into the suspended water molecules.

Meanwhile, Dr. Robotnik was NOT planning to rig the court case because he had the swine flu and was forced by government officials to stay inside.

"What? It's exactly like the flu!" Eggman exclaimed.

"I'm sorry." said Barack Obama. "But we have no idea what this can do and we have no cure for this."

"You don't have a cure for the normal flu either!!!"

"So? I declared the H1N1 flu a national emergency. And hey you! That's right YOU Mr. Author listen to me for a second!"

"…"

"It's not called the swine flu anymore. It's called the H1N1 flu, ok?"

*scoff* "Whatever." replied the author.

The author then decided to not let Barack Obama say anything anymore by not typing anymore about him and cut to the very melodramatic end to the prologue of this story.

*ahem*

WHO will die at the hands of the so called justice? WHAT will happen next? WHY didn't I just kill Eggman for no reason because I'm the author?!?!? WILL YOU ACTUALLY BE INTERESTED IN MY BLAND HUMOR?!?!?!?!

Tune in next time for epic bantering, pointing fingers, stenograph typing, non obstante veredicto motioning, and best of all…recess (who doesn't like that part of the trial?)!!! Unless I decide to stall Tails and make him crash somewhere…while I'm being unpredictable, I think Eggman actually should just die now.

*heart attack*

"Gahhhhhh!!!! I'll get you for this!!!" the doctor exclaimed before his head fell to the floor…MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! **FEAR THE AUTHOR!!!!!**

**----------**

_If you thought this was awesome, wait until the exhilaration in the first chapter! Though I wouldn't be surprised if you thought this sucked because it's my first story. Review this!_


	2. Chapter 1 contains a ghost

_Hi guys! I'm back again real quick with the first chapter. Hope you guys like it! Me and my horrific humor. MWAHAHAHA!_

**Chapter 1**

After landing safely and not crashing like I implied would happen, Tails instead found himself in the wrong spot. (Ha! You didn't expect that!)

Fortunately, he found the right spot one millisecond later. (Didn't expect THAT either did you?!)

Tails smiled as he walked up the marble stairs into the courthouse. With a courageous smile, he marched as heads turned around to see the fox striding down the hall. He then burst into the courtroom and stood there for a minute to take in his surroundings. He could feel the tension in the air as all the spectators in the packed room all whispered to each other, worrying about what was to become of their favorite hero of Mobius. Why would something so random happen to get Sonic arrested? Was it all some sort of ploy? Who would win this epic dispute?

"Tails!" shouted Knuckles, who was sitting with all of Sonics' other friends.

"Hi Knuckles! Ready to win this?" Tails asked.

"You better! Or else I'm going to blame all of my sadness and loneliness on you if Sonic goes to jail!" cried Amy.

"I'm sure Tails will do a great job Amy!" said Knuckles trying to calm Amy down, but having a trace of worry in his voice.

Tails then walked over to the defense table. He was greeted by an unfazed Sonic who was leaning back in his chair casually. Immediately, Sonic looked at Tails and gave him a big thumbs up and a wink.

"Ready to kick some legal butt?" Sonic asked fervently.

"You bet Sonic!" Tails replied just as boldly. "We'll show that cop what justice is."

"You got it bro!"

They embraced quickly, which evoked a few "awws" from the audience.

They then took a look at the prosecution table. There was no one.

"Hey Sonic, looks like the Mobian government couldn't find a public prosecutor. Maybe we can get the case dismissed since no one is here against you."

"That'd be great, because I'm starving for a chili dog right now!" Sonic replied.

Just then, a middle-aged dog in a shabby gray suit stepped into the room and looked around solemnly. He saw many angry looking people stare at him menacingly. As if he was going to be sentencing Sonic to death.

"I'm sorry I'm late." the dog replied.

He walked down and took a seat at the prosecution and ignored all the piercing stares that he knew were directed at him. Right now, he had to prepare for the case. It would definitely be one of his most difficult cases, but he had never backed down before. Why should this time be any different? He looked over to the defense table and saw the hedgehog in his jail garb. Tails looked over Sonic's shoulder to find the dog looking at them. Tails got up and walked over to the defense table.

"Hi there sir!" the young fox said cheerily. "Good luck on your case!"

"And just who are YOU?" the dog replied in disdain as he took a big gulp of water. This kid was distracting him from concentrating on his case.

"I'm the defense lawyer."

*SPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!! HACK! HACK! COUGH!!!*

The dog doubled back and coughed out all his water in a massive spit take. Who did this kid think he was messing with him like that? Then he realized he had almost soaked the kid, who was looking up at him in concern.

"Are you ok sir?" Tails asked a little worriedly.

"Ermm…" he couldn't concentrate as the whole crowd started to whisper loudly and point at him. Before he could say anything, Sonic came out and grabbed Tails.

"Why so surprised Mr. Wood?" Sonic demanded to know as his gaze fixated upon the dog. "Don't you underestimate my best buddy here. He just might show you up today…and be careful where you spit!"

And Sonic stormed off back to his table seething with fury.

"May the best lawyer win, Mr. Wood!" Tails shouted, who seemed almost oblivious to the fact that the dog did NOT think a little kid was a suitable lawyer.

"I can't believe he just dissed you like that." Sonic said, who had calmed down, but still had a trace of indignation in his voice.

"It's ok Sonic. He was just surprised. Besides, once we beat him, then he'll probably see that I'm not a total idiot." Tails said as he turned to look at Mr. Wood again.

"_That lawyer kid…how…DID THAT KID DODGE MY SPIT TAKE SO WELL?!?!?!"_ Mr. Wood thought to himself. Oh and how did he also pass a bar exam even when he was 8 and become the lawyer for Sonic the hedgehog? He just couldn't shake the thought of an 8 year old with such AMAZING reflexes and STUNNING agility. It just wasn't possible. And the fact that Tails was even a lawyer right now was questionable, but mostly, Mr. Wood could not imagine such a SPEEDY fox.

"_I'll have to keep on my toes with THIS kid. Just for that, I think I'm going to have to try harder on this case than on any other case because this kid is simply FAST and EVERY case is decided by SPEED."_

Unknown to the dog, the author was simply LAUGHING HIS FACE OFF!!! HAHAHA! OH THIS IS TOO GOOD..."

After I—er, the author regained his composure, he decided to write YET ANOTHER "I WON'T EVER GIVE UP" TYPE OF SCENE and finish with a cliffhanger. (or would he?)

After Sonic's anger had subsided, he started to ponder about what could have caused his dilemma? What if he was convicted and couldn't save the world from Eggman?

Eggman…it had to be him. He was the one who got him in this mess.

"Tails."

"Yeah Sonic?"

"I have a feeling that Eggman is behind this…"

Tails thought for a moment.

"No matter who's up to this Sonic, we're going to win this. You've done so much for me Sonic already. This is the least I can do…and if Eggman is behind this, we'll catch him too and bring him to justice! I will never give up Sonic! I'm not going to quit on you because you never quit on me."

There was an encouraging valiance in Tails's voice. And then their expressions softened. For a moment, Tails and Sonic looked at each other not saying anything. The two best friends sat quietly, somehow knowing that everything would be alright...

Then the bailiff walked in.

"All rise!" the bulky bailiff bellowed in his burdensome brown boots.

And the author laughed. Because he made a corny moment, an alliteration moment, and an ROBOTNIK YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE DEAD AND WE DON'T KNOW IT moment.

Oh I am so clever…and with that…

"The Honorable Judge Thomas Aquinas Matthew Darson McKenzie Saur Kurrus Pool Dix presiding."

And the author's high school teacher walked up to the stand in his black robe, with a grand look on his face as he stared at me. And I just gawked.

And then he spoke.

"Be seated."

Everyone sat down.

"And now before we begin, I hope the author is going to make me look like a decent person. No funny business here."

The crowd was confused.

"Shh! Mr. Dix! You're not supposed to say there is an author here! *Sighs* well it sure is good to see you again. The cancer didn't resurrect with you right?"

"No. Now are we going to get this trial going? I know you miss me, but right now I need to be an important figure in your story. Let's see how well you can do this…"

"Alright Mr. Dix. You're the guest of honor. Have fun torturing the teenager."

"A teenager? Where?"

"He's the defendant. But he's a good person."

*scoffs* "Teenager? GOOD? No way!" Mr. Dix said sarcastically. It was his normal type of humor.

"Oh Mr. Dix. If you want to go declare him guilty, just do it now then."

"Don't I need to ask the almighty author to do that?"

"Just give me the word and I can make you make Sonic guilty for no reason."

"Naw that's ok. I want to see you get writer's block and painfully try to write your so-called story. Hahaha! Little teenager…"

*laughs* "Ok Mr. Dix, that's enough sarcasm for the readers out here."

"Well, we're not getting any younger here!"

"Alright, alright…"

*ahem*

Mr. Dix then called for order.

"Next case on the docket, People vs. Sonic the hedgehog. Charges are—"

"Excuse me your honor?" Tails asked politely.

The judge was surprised, but quickly responded. "Yes?"

"I would like to motion to take these prison clothes off of the defendant."

"Objection! This is a frivolous charge!" yelled Mr. Wood, thinking that the child was trying to freak him out with his EPIC speed and agility.

"Actually, in the case of State vs. Paul J. Kuchera Sr. in 2008, it was determined that a person in custody cannot be forced to testify on the stand with prison garb on due to the fact that it is more prejudicial towards the defendant and can cause bias among the jury." Tails explained.

Mr. Wood's jaw dropped. The kid WAS trying to freak him out!

The audience murmured in approval for a few seconds. The gavel banged.

"Sustained. 5 minute recess for the defendant to take those clothes off if he chooses."

*Bam*

"_I get to take these lame duds off? Nice!" _Sonic thought to himself happily.

"Thanks for that buddy!" Sonic said as he was escorted by the bailiff to a changing room.

"No problem Sonic!" Tails said proudly.

Everyone was pleasantly surprised at this very unexpected turn of events. Everyone except for Mr. Wood…

"_I'm going to go INSANE from that kid's DEXTERITY. I just know it has to do something with this situation. It just has to…"_ Mr. Wood thought to himself as the author and the judge smirked at the crazy dog…

"We're in for a special treat…" Mr. Dix and I said in unison.

----------

_Just to clarify, yes Mr. Dix is a real teacher who died (I miss him), yes __State_ _vs. __Paul J. Kuchera Sr. was a real court case, yes Mr. Wood is supah paranoid, yes I have the greatest respect for Mr. Dix and I am trying very hard not to undermine his personality, even though it seems at the moment I'm portraying him as a somewhat brusque person, yes I am insane, and yes…_

_YOU WILL REVIEW THIS AND HELP ME OUT IF YOU HATE THIS…_

_That'll be all. Thanks for reading so far, and hope you like my eclectic humor. Until then, see you later!_


	3. Less emotion, more humor? Oh, and Shadow

_Yay. I got reviewed. At least now I know my story isn't totally stupid. Thanks guys! And if you feel like suggesting a few plot ideas, feel free to do so! This chapter is a bit shorter, but as always, have fun reading! _

**Chapter 2**

Amy was nervous. She wasn't biting on her nails though. She wasn't that nervous. She was EVEN MORE NERVOUS and decided to bite on her fingers. She didn't even have fingernails, so why would she chew on them? Either way, Amy was nervous as the author reiterated again and again and again and again…

In the rafters of the roof of the courtroom, Shadow was looking down on the spectacle before him. Tails was waiting patiently below him for Sonic to come back.

"_I wonder how that kid friend of Sonic's will fare."_ Shadow thought to himself.

He secretly hoped that Tails would win. Even if he was defending his rival Sonic, he did not like the idea of a random crime being blamed on someone for no reason. Why had it happened anyway? It puzzled Shadow for a moment, but then Sonic came back out and all the attention in the room was diverted to Sonic.

"_This should be interesting…"_ Shadow whispered quietly. A small grin escaped his face as he prepared to watch the trial.

"Court is back in session." The judge said as he banged the gavel. The silence was deafening.

The author then got writer's block because he was tired and could not think of what to type next. That is until the judge started laughing at him for actually getting writer's block as he predicted. The author tired of Mr. Dix's "I told you so"s more than his actual fatigue, so he decided to press on with the plot of the story after this randomly nonsensical filler that he wrote because he was tired.

"Court reporter, read the last line again before Mr. Prower's request."

"Next case on the docket, People vs. Sonic the hedgehog. Charges are…"

"Right. Charges held against the defendant are trespassing, vandalism, and malicious destruction of public property. If there are any other pre-case motions, present them now."

Silence.

"Alright then. We'll start with the voir dire. We have 30 potential jury members. The prosecution and defense will each get 6 strikes. The prosecution will start us off."

"Thank you." Mr. Wood said woodenly as he started to question the jurors.

A PAINFUL 1 MINUTE LATER…

"Thank you Mr. Wood. Defense council may now do their voir dire. There are 24 jury members left…"

"Thank you Your Honor." Tails replied as he stood up and started to pace in front of the jury."

"_What is this kid doing? I thought he would've tried to do this faster than me, but he's just taking his sweet time…like he wants to throw me off…well I won't be tricked. This kid is taking a long time on purpose. OBVIOUSLY he could go MUCH faster and make me look like a doofus…"_

And as Mr. Wood wondered why Tails wasn't be so speedy about the voir dire, Tails stopped and turned to juror number 3.

"WHAT…is your favorite, COLOR?!" Tails asked fervently.

"OH MA GOSSSHHH! BLUE!" the middle aged chipmunk screamed in delight as he looked over to Sonic and gave a huge thumbs up.

The crowd just stared at the potential juror.

And while that was happening, the author was crying with tears AGAIN as he realized that he made a Monty Python reference AND confused the readers as to what voir dire even is (it's only where the lawyers review the jurors and get a chance to dismiss them if they think the jurors won't be sympathetic towards their cause).

"Objection." the dog had hesitated for a moment, shocked once again by the young fox.

"Overruled. It showed that this would be an excellent juror for the defense. That is if he can keep the bias down." the judge replied while switching his gaze from the dog, and the chipmunk.

"Oh YESSSSSSSS. Like, I LOVE Sonic and how AWESOME he is, but like if he's guilty he's guilty and you know who am I really to mess with that although I just KNOW that Sonic is like NOT guilty and I can't wait to be a REEAAALLLLY important person in this trial and to that if I have to keep my personal views out that's all fine with me and everything you know?"

"Seems reasonable enough of an explanation." Tails said. "You can stay on the jury."

"Object—"

"Overruled."

Mr. Wood hung his head down as everybody started murmuring. Probably about him too.

Court was then brought to order. Tails proceeded to the next juror.

"Misterrrrr…Merill? Right. Ok, how much TV do you watch each day?"

"I watch about an hour a day."

"What kind of shows do you watch?"

"Mostly the news, and every once in a while, a sitcom."

"When you listen to the news, do you take what they say very seriously?"

"No. I think that most of the stuff there is junk."

"Did you hear about the defendant's arrest?"

Mr. Merill eyed Tails suspiciously. "Yes."

"From the news presumably?"

"Yes."

"Do you think that based on what you heard, Sonic is innocent?"

"Objection." said Mr. Wood.

"Sustained." The judge replied. "Please restate the question Mr. Prower."

Tails furrowed his brow for a second.

"How did the media portray Sonic to you?"

"Well to me, they acted like he was a hero unfairly accused. I think all people need to be put to justice and stop trying to act all innocent and stuff."

"Objection!" Mr. Wood figured this juror would be good for him; he didn't want Tails to take him off.

"What grounds?"

"That last part was not asked for by the question."

"Sustained. Have that last sentence by Mr. Merill stricken from the record."

The court recorder quickly pressed a few buttons on the stenograph.

"Continue Mr. Prower…"

Tails thought for a moment.

"I'd like to strike Mr. Merill from the jury."

"Mr. Merill," the judge said, "you are dismissed."

"YES!!! I'm free to go home, eat some pie, and watch tons of T.V!"

The judge blinked.

"But not before I arrest you for perjury." the judge replied, finishing Mr. Merill's terrible self-incriminating rhyme on watching "1 hour" of television.

"What? Wh—oh man…"

Seeing as the voir dire was taking too long, the author decided to skip the rest of the voir dire, as nothing really happened then. He even skipped the part where the JUDGE voir dired the jurors.

Amazingly, the energetic chipmunk was still a juror by the end of the whole thing.

"Recess. Back in 15 everyone." the judge said as he banged his gavel and started to laugh quietly.

"Ha! I can't believe you made the readers miss the BEST PART of the voir dire! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Mr Dix. taunted at me merri—hey wait a second!

"You're not supposed to tell them I left—"

"Oh man, Tails had to be hanged upside down as we all started chanting a stupid ritual because we were all possessed by a resurrected zombie guy named Dr. Robotnik! THEN there was the marching band…"

The author then slowly diverted the attention on him to Shadow to prevent the readers from murdering him. Eh heh…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I haven't seen anything THAT funny in YEARS! Oh man that elephant there, and the way everyone thought my SHADOW PUPPET was Robotnik! Oh I haven't seen people so gullible in my life! Well except for Tails and Sonic. They just got mad that Robotnik was there to try to sacrifice Tails. They still don't seem to realize Eggman is dead…THAT MAKES THEM EVEN STUPIDER!!! HAHAHAHA! Oh man!!!"

The author did a stereotypical anime sweat drop pose. He then thought about what he just did, making Shadow look…happy…

"Readers, you will disregard that last statement. Court reporter, err…author, err…myself, strike that from the record please."

But then I thought about how funny it was to see Shadow like that, and the prospect of getting him to be really serious later on just so that it looks like Shadow is really bipolar was too funny to pass up…

Before the author's incessant in-story talking becomes longer to read than the actual scenes, he decided to be merciful and get back to the trial (and actually make those scenes funny).

"Oh wait…my agent is calling me. Gotta run! Let's give the cliffhangers and I'll go." the author said hastily as he was packing his stuff up.

*ahem*

Is Shadow bipolar? WHY did I skip the good parts of the voir dire? Will I be MURDERED at night for leaving it out? Will I murdered at night because I'M A LOUDMOUTH AUTHOR who talks WAAAYYY too much about himself and overuses capitalization? And most importantly, WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE TRIAL?!?!

Tune in next time for another stunning chapter of "Tails the Lawyer"!

----------

_Ok, today was a not as many details in emotions and stuff day and more of a random humor day. I promise not to have too many of those days, because it's good to have emotions in stories (duh). I'm also going to have to leave the "author" out more often. Perhaps it's because I wrote this all in one day. If you have anything to say about this, please review, even if it is anonymously. Thank you! Hope you guys enjoyed it anyway even though it fits a different type of audience I guess. _

_Oh, and just warning you guys, I will not normally be able to update so often. Just letting you all know. Bye for now!_


	4. Pie, chilli dogs, an odd sandwich, etc

_Yay! Another subscriber to this story! It makes me happy even if it is only one extra person. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But aside from that, Tails is going to totally treat Mr. Wood's life in this chapter (I hope, but I am doubting my abilities at the moment to make tension). Anyway, let us ride! (TO CAMELOT! Another Monty Python reference for fun…and sorry this took so long to upload…)_

**Chapter 3**

After the author came back from his agent, he continued the story.

Everyone had a brain wipe of what happened after the voir dire antics, and no it will not be named here. After that, court was back in session. But by then 1 hour had passed and no one knew about it due to the brain wipe. It was time for lunch.

"Recess! Back in 90 minutes!" said the judge, who then went on to eat a microwavable dinner.

Until Tails made ANOTHER request.

"Your honor, if it please the court, may Sonic be put under guard as he comes out to eat with me? He IS a non-violent first-time offender, and he hasn't even been proved guilty yet so—"

"Objection!" interrupted Mr. Wood.

The judge rolled his eyes. "Overruled." he said distantly as he stared at his microwave dinner.

Mr. Wood then stormed out and went off to the nearest diner.

"Just don't start any fires…" the judge said trailing off.

"May it be noted in the record that the judge let Sonic go out to eat." Tails yelled to the court reporter as he raced out the door with Sonic.

Sonic and Tails then decided to go to the nearest diner…DUN DUN DUN!

_Meanwhile in the rafters…_

"Mmm…baloney with mustard, pickles, onion, relish, tomato, mayonnaise, butter, toaster crumbs, anchovies, jelly beans, bacon, eggs, and best of all…SPAM! Time to eat…" Shadow said as he looked at his delectable sandwich and drooled with delight. He was about to take a big bite when…

"THERE'S A GUY IN THE RAFTERS!" cried the weasel on the jury.

Luckily for Shadow, no one noticed because everyone else had gone out to eat and the judge was mesmerized by his rotating microwave dinner.

"Mmm…Shepherd's Pie."

The hedgehog was taken aback that someone had looked up, but he quickly flipped down and grabbed the weasel by his fur.

The weasel was slightly surprised, but was still smiling adamantly at Shadow.

"You don't tell anyone about me up there or I'll make sure you regret it!"

"Well fiiiinnnneee if you're going to be that way because you know I wasn't really going to say anything you know because I just thought it was interesting that you were up there in the rafters and all. Hey! You're like the rival of Sonic aren't you? OOOHHH!!! What's it like to fight him and is Sonic really as fast as they say he is and have you ever beaten him…"

Shadow groaned. He made a huge mistake coming down…

_Meanwhile, at the diner where Mr. Wood, Sonic, and Tails were…_

"Man I'm going to need a LOT of chili dogs." Sonic said as he looked down at his grumbling stomach.

Tails reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He pulled out a coupon.

_90% off of all chili dogs when you buy OVER 9000!!!_

"Waaaay past cool little bro'!" Sonic exclaimed as he gave Tails a high five.

As the two friends waited for their feast to arrive at the very reasonable price of 100 Mobians, they stared out the window and looked outside at the once again bright sunshine reflecting off of the puddles. There was a cool breeze and some of the wet leaves were blown around in small little whirlwinds. It was a cheerful time for Sonic and Tails. They then talked of their plans for tomorrow, where the two would have a run all around Mobius to celebrate Sonic's freedom. And to make sure that Amy didn't try to give a congratulatory hug...or worse…

Outside of Mr. Wood's window was a downpour of golf ball sized hail. The weather hated Mr. Wood apparently…

"_I need to win this case." _Mr. Wood thought to himself. _"This case is pivotal to my career. If I can beat Sonic the Hedgehog and his little…genius friend or something, I'll finally be able to get the respect that I deserve." _Mr. Wood looked forlornly out the window. If he was beaten, then he'd also be embarrassed to no end…because he would have been beaten by a little kid.

The situation was driving Mr. Wood crazy. He was immersed in his thoughts when suddenly…the WAITER CAME.

"_How anticlimactic…I was hoping someone would come and offer me some random deal to help me win this case…I would have taken ANY deal…"_

"Hello, and what would you like today?" the waiter asked politely.

"Well what have you got?"

"You mean you didn't even look at the menu?"

In front of Mr. Wood was a menu. He didn't even realize it was there.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was there. I'll just—"

"Not NOTICE? It's HUGE and has lots of purple ribbon on it! How would you not notice?"

"I—"

"Don't interrupt! Do you know how rude it is to interrupt for no reason?"

"Umm, no, I mean—"

"NO?!?!!? Just who do you think you are?" There was no trace of the waiter's politeness anymore…

"A…lawyer?" Mr. Wood said hesitantly.

"Oh I SEE…You're a lawyer and that gives you the right to spill ketchup everywhere?"

"Well, no but—wait, spill ketchup whe—?"

"Oh, now you're trying to play innocent with me?"

"What?"

"What seems to be the problem?" the manager grumbled as he walked over to the table.

"This man said he wanted to rob us!"

"WHAT?!?!?!?!"

"Why you despicable little man."

"What did you call me?!?!?!"

"He's also going to burn the place down!"

The two men looked at Mr. Wood with a cold stare. That was enough to make Mr. Wood snap. He then made a vehement, heated accusation against the two.

"B-b-but…but…but…"

"OUT OF HERE YOU!" the two shouted imperiously.

Mr. Wood stumbled out of his chair, but was surprised to bump into someone behind him. It was Sonic.

"I don't think Mr. Wood was trying to burn down the place or rob anything or spill ketchup anywhere." Sonic said impatiently while tapping his foot. He and Tails were now giving the cold stares. The waiter and manager then ran away for absolutely no reason except that they were afraid that Sonic and Tails would…do…something…

Mr. Wood sat there astounded. As the duo walked away, Sonic gave Mr. Wood a small smile and what he swore was a small wink.

He didn't understand it at all…here Mr. Wood was out to get the two friends, but they still helped him. Why would the blue hedgehog do anything like that? Was it because they knew he was being unfairly treated? Was it because he was falsely accused of something? Was it because maybe Sonic went through a similar situation and had empathy for Mr. Wood?

Probably not. It was OBVIOUSLY something to do with that fox friend of Sonic's. Of course. THAT made sense. It had to.

Now the only question was…how to win the case and outfox the fox.

The author then popped out for the first time in the chapter and started laughing HYSTERICALLY at Mr. Wood again because he was STOOPID AND PHAILURE. Not only that, Mr. Wood made a bad pun in his mind. He then decided this to be the only time he would be popping into the chapter because he had done it so much in the last chapter.

And then suddenly a plate of spaghetti flew into Mr. Wood's face. The waiter and manager started to snicker loudly before running into the back. Raucous laughter could be heard.

Mr. Wood then wiped all the spaghetti off of his face. All except for one strand.

Tails started to laugh a little. Sonic chuckled a bit, but quickly looked away.

Mr. Wood was furious.

"What's so funny?!?!" Mr. Wood asked heatedly.

"YOUR FACE!" Tails screamed, as he couldn't hold in his laughter. Tears started to pour out of his eyes as Tails fell onto the floor while holding his stomach.

"Oh yeah? Well…your MOM."

That shut Tails up.

"My parents…are dead…"

Mr. Wood then realized he made a big mistake by saying that. He wasn't even close to making an insult OR a joke. He got OWNED just like the author said. On top of that, everyone in the diner was staring at him AGAIN.

And at that, Mr. Wood made a hasty retreat, leaving behind a slightly hurt Tails.

"_I know it wasn't nice for me to laugh…but everyone knows my parents are dead…and I didn't mean to make fun of him…" _Tails thought to himself.

"Hey buddy, you ok?" Sonic looked at his friend worriedly.

Tails shook off the feeling. "Yeah, I'm fine Sonic. He didn't mean it…"

The two looked at each other for a second…

And then they erupted in laughter, not able to wipe the memory of Mr. Wood's moustache.

_Outside the window…_

Shadow had escaped that crazy weasel by saying he had to use the bathroom. Good riddance too. But then, he saw the spaghetti incident. And Tails's reaction to Mr. Wood's insult.

"_That man…he just made fun of little kid's dead parent…" _Shadow thought angrily as he remembered the pain of losing Maria…

"He won't get away with that. No one deserves to have one they loved made fun of!" Shadow whispered to himself. Shadow sped off into the blizzard that was forming and hurried over to the courtroom.

_Later at the courtroom…_

The room was once again jam packed with spectators. You could smell the tension in the air. Actually, it smelled more like Shepherd's Pie, but no one cared because it smelled delicious. As long it wasn't dirty gym socks smell…or something…

The judge then sat up and called the court to order.

"Now, I believe that we can…"

Suddenly, the judge stopped. He saw attached to his gavel. He read it. And then he gave Mr. Wood a look.

"_Oh no, now what?" _Mr. Wood thought to himself.

"That's very mature of you Mr. Wood. Making fun of the counsel's parents when you think I'm not watching eh? DEAD parents too…VERY considerate of you…"

Mr. Wood was shocked. What in the world happened? Mr. Wood proceeded to calmly explain the situation.

"W-w-well…umm…he made fun of me first…and my…umm…spaghetti face."

The judge gave Mr. Wood a puzzled look.

"What?!"

"Excuse me Your Honor, I can demonstrate what he means." Tails said as he approached Mr. Wood with a long strand of spaghetti. He then put the spaghetti on his face in the shape of a stereotypical Asian moustache.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!" The judge could not stop laughing.

_A non-painful 1 minute later (only Mr. Wood can make a minute painful)…_

"Hmm. Well then. Your conduct was not very appropriate Mr. Wood. 5 minute recess for me to decide a suitable punishment for you."

And the gavel banged. It echoed in Mr. Wood's ears. He couldn't believe the terrible turn of events happening to him. His eyes then fell upon the bulky bailiff in burdensome brown boots. He was bellowing to his coworker and pointing at Mr. Wood. His eyes fell upon the crowd, also pointing fingers. His eyes fell upon Sonic, who was…eating a chili dog? Erm, and his eyes also fell upon Tails. Tails looked over to Mr. Wood and mouthed "I'm sorry" to him.

"_Wait, what?!?!?!" _Mr. Wood thought. Why is he sorry?

And it hit him.

HIS SPEED. The kid was toying with him again which was somehow related to his velocity, angular momentum and all that stuff.

This certainly was a dog day in court for Mr. Wood.

In the rafters, Shadow was looking down at Mr. Wood. _"Well it certainly is a dog day in court for this dog." _Shadow thought to himself as he smiled to himself and his own little pun. Shadow loved puns, because he could actually make them sound cool.

And then he thought to himself, if this was a book, this would be a perfect time for a cliffhanger. _"I could pose questions like 'Can Mr. Wood be any stupider?' 'Why is Sonic eating a chili dog if he supposedly could have finished all of them at the diner?' 'Is the whole world a stage and I'm actually having my thoughts read?' 'When in the world will we get to the actual trial and witnesses and all that stuff we see in T.V. shows?'."_

One thing was sure to Shadow. He'd have to wait for another 4 minutes to find out…

----------

_I told you I wasn't going to pop in more than once. I snuck Shadow in as the narrator. Oh aren't I so clever? Well, Mr. Wood got owned by Tails AND the judge. Gotta love my random humor. I was actually thinking of doing the spam scene from Monty Python just for kicks. But no. Anyway, __**review this stinking chapter. **__It'll be fun. I promise. And I hope you had fun reading! Bye bye for now!_


	5. Getting to the good part? Hopefully?

_Back again with one of my awesome updates! Ok you had to wait longer than 4 minutes to figure out what happened next, but the wait will be worth it! Guaranteed! In case you didn't know, I'm also writing another story in an odder style…but anyway, have fun reading! And at the end, __**Review the chapter!**__ I have a feeling you'll really like this one because the actual case happens here. Hoorah! That's all for now…_

**Chapter 4**

So Mr. Wood was ordered to a PUBLIC apology to Tails, which embarrassed Mr. Wood.

And a 5-minute time out in the corner. It was a little ironic that Tails had managed to be better behaved than Mr. Wood. At least to the spectators.

But suddenly, there was a person crying outside. LOUD crying.

The judge heard this and ordered another recess, fearing that someone's Shepherd's Pie had been mashed up.

"I hate it when that happens…recess! 5 minutes!" the judge said as he ran outside.

Everyone followed suit. They also wondered when they were ACTUALLY GOING TO GET TO SEE THE FREAKING TRIAL!

The first one out was Sonic (obviously), then Tails, then the frantic judge, and finally everyone else.

There stood Cream facing a big bully. She had an ice cream cone with no ice cream. There was a tear in her eye. But the tables were about to turn for Cream…

"That's almost as bad as ruining a good Shepherd's Pie!" the judge screamed viciously at the bully.

The bully jumped and turned around to stare at the huge crowd glaring maliciously at him.

"Uhh…" the bully started to stutter.

"How old are you?" the judge asked maliciously.

"Uhh…u-umm, 15?"

"Oh OF COURSE. I should have known. A TEENAGER." The judge growled as he walked towards the terrified Mobian. Unable to restrain himself, the judge then did something in the next scene bothered the author so much, he decided to censor another scene from the story…

_5 minutes later…_

Court was back in session, but the audience was staring outside at the mangled body outside...disturbing…

But the epic court case was FINALLY starting, and eventually, everyone went back to staring at Mr. Wood.

The judge cleared his throat and wiped the bloo—erm, dirt off of his hands.

"Prosecution, you may call up your first witness."

"Counsel calls Dr. Ivo Robotnik onto the stand."

Immediately, the crowd was in an uproar. Tails declared an objection. The judge called the court to order. Everyone sat down eventually. And the author was using way too many simple sentences again.

"Mr. Wood, how do you believe Dr. Robotnik will contribute to the case?"

"He is a character witness."

The judge rolled his eyes. "Objection overruled. Although personally, I think it won't matter much…if not work in the defense's favor…"

As the jurors started to nod off, Mr. Wood then proceeded to question the fat evil maniac genius.

"Tails, why aren't you pushing to get Robuttnik off the stand?" Sonic whispered a little worriedly to Tails.

"I figured it'd do the prosecution more harm to them to put such a terrible witness on stage." Tails explained. "Do you see all the jurors there?"

"Yeah, they're all just—hey wait, they all have glasses on."

"Glasses with—"

"—drawn eyeballs on them."

"Don't forget, they're all drooling."

"Oh yeah…huh, alright little bud. If Mr. Wood wants to look like an idiot, he can go right ahead."

And the two snickered a little together. They had to look down in order to not be noticed.

"Hey Sonic?"

"Yeah Tails?"

"I can't wait to do a victory lap."

"Me neither. And it's going to be a looooong victory lap. Here better take this chilli dog and eat it now. You'll need it for later." Sonic winked at Tails.

Meanwhile, Mr. Wood was thinking he was an awesome person.

"_Yes, Sonic and Tails are looking down and shaking up. They must be intimidated by my witness. My idea is working!" _Mr. Wood thought to himself gleefully.

He took another look over his shoulder. Tails was eating a chilli dog.

"_Ha! They're doing what fat people do when they are nervous! EATING!" _What a perfect plan this was turning out to be for Mr. Wood.

_In the rafters…_

"_Idiot…"_ Shadow thought as he shook his head. He was reading Mr. Wood's mind using Chaos Control. He was also being snuck in as a medium for one second for what the author was trying to say as shown when he thought "Idiot", but Shadow didn't know that.

_Back at the courtroom…_

Things were going to get bad for Mr. Wood.

"Mr.—"

"It's _Doctor…_"

"Dr. Robotnik, in your knowledge of having fought Sonic for a long time, what do you consider to believe to be some of his character flaws?"

"Hmm, well for starters…HE RUINS MY SCHEMEZ!"

The weasel then jolted awake. "You mean your EVIL ones?"

"Yes! And HE ESCAPZ MY TRAPZ! HE HELPS **NISE PEPOLE!**"

"Uuhh—" Mr. Wood then realized his fatal mistake.

"HE INGUHLFD MII EN A DUSHT CLOWD!"

"Uum, thanks Robotnik, that'll be enough."

"HE MAID ME TARE EVARY HEIR OWT OV MIE BEEUTEEFUHLL HEDDD!!!"

And everyone laughed at Mr. Wood AGAIN and then he looks embarrassed, and yeah you know…

While Dr. Eggman was being dragged out because of his crazed rant from _Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog_, Mr. Wood then sheepishly went to his table to figure out which witness to bring up.

"_How could this happen?!?!?!" _Was all that Mr. Wood could think of.

"_Because you are a serious idiot." _Was all that Shadow could think of.

Suddenly, Tails made yet ANOTHER objection. Forunately, it was an AWESOME objection.

"Excuse me, I don't believe our counsel had a chance to cross examine the witness."

"_Oh…no…" _Mr. Wood flinched as he heard the request.

The judge sat a moment. "I do not believe it would be safe."

"But we have SONIC here!"

The judge then slapped his forehead. "Oh! Right! Ok, bring him back up and swear him in again."

A non-painful one minute later (not even the bulky bailiff in...you know by now, cannot fail as epically as Mr. Wood does at making a minute painful.)…

Speaking of pain…

"_ARGH!!! It's that kid's speed! Even though most RATIONAL people would think it had NOTHING to do with his SPEED, __**I **__know that it is the trick to his LUCK here…"_

Shadow did a facepalm. And then Tails was granted permission to question Dr. Robotnik.

"Mr. Robotnik, is Sonic a bad person in your opinion?"

"NO! He's the NICEST PERSON EVA!"

"So he's not capable of hurting an innocent old building?"

"Oh he could, but he would prefer to attack my evil robots who try to help me take over the world!"

"Mmm-hmm…" Tails winked at Sonic. Sonic winked back.

"Objection! Counsel is making gestures towards the defendant during question."

"You know what? You're right! And so are you! Look at you waving your arms around at the witness!"

Mr. Wood was confused. "I didn't do that."

"But you did during your turn for questioning…and towards the witness no less."

Mr. Wood slumped down into his chair. Things could not go any worse.

And through that fateful thought, Mr. Wood jinxed it. And things got worse. DUH.

As Robotnik was dragged away screaming again, the roof of the courthouse then fell in right above where Mr. Wood was. The roof's old iron rebar just couldn't stand the humidity of the suddenly 110 degree temperature.

Immediately, Sonic and Tails rushed over to Mr. Wood, who was pinned under a piece of splintered wood. There was a piece jutting out of Mr. Wood's stomach.

"Mr. Wood!" Tails exclaimed as he started to dig Mr. Wood out with his paws.

Sonic did likewise. The crowd started to call the police.

Suddenly, Tails scraped his hand on a black quill. His hand shot back in pain, but he then exerted all of his strength to lift up a large chunk of debris. What they saw next shocked them…Shadow!

Of course the author knew this was coming and expected the readers to know this too at some point, but anyway…

After the shock wore off, Tails and Sonic, continued to dig out Mr. Wood. The wound was worse than expected, with blood flowing out as water in a fountain spurts into the air gracefully and plops back into the bowl like a dancer coming to rest.

Mr. Dix, the judge, then adjourned the case and after the paramedics had taken away Mr. Wood, he gave me a funny look. Yes I know the analogy was bad and stupid. Thanks for the tip.

And the author then diverted his attention to the black hedgehog lying on the ground. As the spectators walked out grumbling at the fact that the stupid roof had to postpone the actual trial, Sonic shook Shadow gently. Shadow stirred a little and then sat up suddenly. He was a little sore, but nonetheless fine.

"Hey, you alright…faker?" Sonic said with a little fake arrogance in his voice.

Shadow was slightly annoyed, but responded coolly. "I'm fine…faker."

"Waaay uncool repeating what I said as an insult." Sonic said with his signature surliness.

"Oh yeah? YOU're uncool!"

"Hey guys, come on, let's calm down." Tails said shyly. "Shadow, why were you on the ceiling?"

"What do you think? I was watching the trial…good luck Sonic."

And with that, Shadow left as soon as he appeared.

All was quiet. Except for the microwave which the judge was cooking Shepherd's Pie in.

Tails broke the silence.

"Sonic?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Mr. Wood is going to be ok?"

"…yeah he'll be alright. I'm just wondering if he'll be able to continue the trial in the three days he has until the trial begins again…he'll probably just need a little rest and then he'll be fine. That and a few bandages and blood transfusions."

"…yeah you're right Sonic. I hope he comes back ready for the trial, because I know we will!"

"Yeah. That's true…hey Tails…I gotta go, the bailiff needs to take me to my cell…"

Tails's face saddened. And then he brightened.

"Excuse me your Honor? Can we have the court's permission to have Sonic live outside of his cell?"

"He'd need to have someone supervise him…" the judge said mindlessly as he stared at his pie…"

"Well…what about me?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, you're smart, go ahead. As long as Sonic stays in your house for the next 3 days with you, you are present the whole time, and that you don't start any fires…" He banged his gavel lightly and continued to be mesmerized by the rotating food.

"…Tails, I love you little bro!"

And the two raced to Tails's house, laughing as they ran into the worsening fog (what?).

Once again, the end of the chapter had arrived, and the author was in need of having to write the following, terribly written exiting text. Anyway, why is that PIE so mesmerizing? Will Mr. Wood turn into an evil person gone insane by consistent stupidity happening to him? Why did Shadow wish Sonic good luck? Why didn't Amy stay behind to try to talk with Sonic? How does Tails manage to get all this stuff for Sonic? What do the readers think of the relationship between Sonic and Tails right now? Why did I write this for SUCH A LONG TIME?!?!?!? And most importantly? WHY AM I LISTENING TO PUNK ROCK MUSIC BY "AT THE DRIVE IN"?

Oh, and of course, will we actually get to the trial? Like actual epic arguments? And where the two lawyers are COMPETENT? *cough* Mr. Wood *cough*.

Oh wait, also, why DOES THE WEATHER ON MOBIUS **SUCK?** And did you actually think that this trial was going to be over with in one day in the story? REAL trials take much longer, so why'd you listen to what I said in chapter 1 when I said the case would be in a day? HMM?!? Of course Sonic and Tails wouldn't get to do their victory lap today! (story wise)

Well! Hope you liked this! See you next time for more epicness! (I promise, I'm going to be writing Scott Turrow quality law arguments next time with an awesome witness, awesome counsel, and EPIC **STUFF**.)

----------

_Alright you guys! That turned out to be an interesting episode. Sorry for the interrogation at the end, but hey! It was worth it right? Anyway, sorry that took so long to write. And if it seems a little random, well I wrote this on three separate days so…yeah. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading as always and remember! __**Review the chapter!**__Bye for now!_


	6. Subplot? Antagonist! GENERAL EPICNESS!

_In this chapter, Tails epic wins! But not in the usual manner you'd expect out of him. You'll have to read though in order to figure out what is happening. Also, today's chapter features…a SUBPLOT. *collective gasp*. At first I thought of making this a really long chapter with the epic court case along with what was in here, but I changed my mind! Don't worry though, I believe, going to be one of the most epic chapters ever! Have ridiculously awesome fun reading this! And remember! __**Review the chapter at the end!**_

_P.S. Lupas Silvae didn't review my last chapter? *gasp!* I guess I'll need to put in…Monty Python!_

_P.S.S. Thanks GalexiatheChao! I read your suggestions! Not sure if I'll use them (no offense at all, I thought they were great!), but we'll see…_

**Chapter 5**

Sonic and Tails were running. They had barely managed to escape Amy who was waiting outside the courthouse for Tails, but then saw that Sonic wasn't going to be in his cell that night. They laughed as they recalled the look on her face. And then they heard Cream. They paused. They heard some frantic noises and what sounded like…fish slapping?

Tails and Sonic went back and looked back behind the diner (no, it's a different diner, now don't ask again!). Underneath the streetlight, there was the same bully who got pummeled by the judge. But he wasn't moving an inch. He was simply letting himself get slapped.

As Cream started raving about how the bully was a big meanie, the two friends burst out laughing.

"Take THIS! And THAT! You big meanie! Go away!" Cream was shouting loudly as she was slapping him with SARDINES.

And the reader laughed as he put his hand inside the story onto Tails's shoulder. Tails froze as he spun around trying out find who touched him. Sonic was in front of him so…

The author realized his mistake and took his hand out of the story. And everyone started laughing again.

Except for the bully, who took out a fair sized bass and lightly patted Cream with it.

*DOOSH!*

"WAHHHHH!!!!!"

*SPLASH!*

Sonic was soaked as Cream fell into the torrential waters, with the hurricane building up to dangerous speeds.

And as Shadow watched the whole scene and wondered why the weather was so unpredictable, Sonic jumped into the water to save Cream from the gusts of wind pulling her out further from shore.

_A joyous, opposite of painful one minute later (now just imagine what kind of minute passes by when TAILS does something similar)…_

"What in the world were you thinking?" Sonic tried to scream at the bully, but the chilling waters had sapped all energy out of Sonic. "You could have—ER!—killed her!" Sonic could not talk without his head throbbing. Pain started to course through his body.

"Sonic! Are you alright?" Tails was in a frenzy, kneeling down with Sonic, after barely catching his blue pal.

"T-Tails…I thought you were my legal guardian for a day…you know how much I can't…stand water…" Sonic's body then slowly succumbed to the cold, frosty air.

"W-Well…technically you were only in my…custody…" Tails said clearly distraught at his own half-joking manner and over Sonic's deteriorating condition.

And the bully just stood there. Tails abruptly shot a look at the bully.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" the bully sneered at the young fox.

Tails was taken aback, but quickly brushed the snide remark off.

"Yes, you did actually."

"Well then you better get ready. It's about to get worse…"

The bully slowly trudged towards where Tails was. Tails held his ground.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm coming after you. What do you think?"

Tails was slightly confused. "But, why? Is it because you got beat up earlier? That wasn't even us!"

"Stop denying it. Maybe when I bash your face in, you'll understand…"

Tails tensed up, but then paused a bit. He then stood up straight and crossed his arms.

"I understand…"

"_What?" _Shadow heard the words, but could not understand what the young fox was doing.

"I understand. I bet your whole life has been filled with anger and hate and now, you try to fill up that hole by debasing others. You attack others to make yourself feel better, even if you don't even really care who the other person is. And now you're doing the same here. Well I can tell you now, this isn't the way to resolve your problems, so I suggest you turn away and let me get Sonic and Cream home."

"…_That makes sense…" _Such a little kid had a good chance of convincing this guy to turn away. Shadow was trying hard not to admire the kid for standing there and looking so confident with his words.

"…That's nice. And now prepare to be beaten like you never have been before."

"_What?!" _Shadow and Tails thought simultaneously.

"Hehe…it'll be fun beating a freak like you up. And that little 'friend' of yours."

Tails twitched noticeably. The bully smirked.

And Tails then suddenly drew from inside him a bit of pent-up rage. The author got some cookies and started to eat out of the box…

"You will not…talk about me OR Sonic like that!"

"I'll talk about you like that all I want." The bully took a step forward.

"You…are not going to be hurting any more of us…not if I can do anything about it..." Tails's fists started to shake.

"You? You're a coward! Look at you!"

Shadow could feel something inside of Tails…

"I'm going to tease you because I can. And you know what? Even if you're right about all that stuff about me, which um—you're not *cough*, it won't matter! Because you are nothing. Nothing!"

The words rang in Tails's ears. Shadow felt that there was something familiar happening. Like when Tails was trying to protect Cosmo…

"And you know what else? When I'm finished with you, I'm going to take your friend Sonic and dump him into…"

"_No…he can't…he'll die!" _Tails was having mixed emotions.

"...into an OCEAN…of CHILLI DOGS!"

Tails stood there looking angry, but was confused on the inside. _"What?"_

"Yes…your friend will die an ironic death. Drowning in food instead of WATER." And the bully started to laugh maniacally.

This did not make sense to Shadow or Tails. Not that the author usually does make stuff that makes sense…

Either way, the author's box of cookies had run out, and Tails at that very moment snapped.

"You say I'm nothing…well I have to say to the contrary…YOU WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL BE NOTHING!!!"

Tails charged at the bully with lightning fast speed, not exactly as fast as Sonic, but it shocked the bully nonetheless. He was met with a stinging double kick to his chest. The bully stumbled into the lampost behind him. He got up just in time for a flurry of punches to thrash his face.

Shadow couldn't help (he really tried to help it) but watch in awe as the kind, cheerful little mechanic turned into a raging fighting machine. Shadow blinked and suddenly, the whole scene had changed. It was raining sleet now.

Tails grabbed the wolf bully by his mottled fur and started to whip him with his twin tails.

"How do you like my "freakish" qualities NOW? Do the tails HURT?"

The wolf retorted SAVAGELY at his opponent.

"MOMMY!!!"

Tails then stopped whipping him. In the distance, Shadow could make out a vague smile on Tails's face.

Tails suddenly grabbed the wolf and started to fly into the air. The wolf couldn't help but look down.

There he was dangling probably hundreds of feet off of the ground, and going up higher. He was at the little twerp's mercy.

"P-P-Please don't drop me…" the wolf whimpered.

Too bad for the wolf.

Tails let go of the bully and immediately zoomed back down to the ground. The bully started to wail as he accelerated towards the earth.

"HELP!!! I'M GOING TO HIT THE GROUND AND BREAK ALL OF MY BONES!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"_Oh you won't be hitting the ground anytime soon." _Tails said as he readied himself for the incoming target. He was on the ground…waiting for that moment.

"_Tails is going to…" _Shadow couldn't believe what he read from Tails's mind. Did he even have enough strength to do such a thing?

He found out a few seconds later. Tails shouted as loudly as he could and delivered a devastating uppercut to the falling Mobian. The blow connected squarely with his jaw and as the Mobian weakly writhed in agony, he was sent rocketing into the air as his head snapped back from the sudden impact. Oh and then he flew off into the space and there was one of those little twinkle things.

Tails wished he could've done an awesome dropkick, but he was exhausted from all of that exertion. Now was not the time to feel weak though! He was still the…ok fine, legal guardian of Sonic for a day. He saved his friend, but still had to get him home. But how…

"Need a hand?" Shadow had stepped out and tried to sound like his normal snarky voice. But something prevented him. It was just pity for the fatigued kit. Yeah, that was it…

"Thanks Shadow. Tails smiled tiredly at the black hedgehog."

And the two went on their way through the humid, hot night. This time though, it was Tails's turn to ponder the weather while Shadow did the more serious thinking.

"_Why did he get so angry…I mean they're friends but…still…how can Tails care so much about Sonic that he goes so berserk?" _Shadow glanced briefly at Tails. He was clearly laboring to carry Sonic, but had a determined, steadfast feeling around him. _"Why care so much…about a…friend?"_ and for a moment, Shadow envied Tails, thinking back to his past…

"_Maria…how I wish I could find someone like you again…a friend…"_

He looked at Tails again. Tails caught the glance and looked back at Shadow. He gave him a smile and wink.

Shadow quickly looked away, but then continued to think in his head. His thoughts shifted from Maria and Tails.

And as the black hedgehog was coming out of his role as a minor sideline character who just acts as a narrator when the narrator doesn't feel like mentioning himself, Tails snapped Shadow out of his trance as they arrived at his house. More like a garage/workshop actually, but either way, it would have to do.

"Thanks Shadow." Tails said gratefully as he put Sonic down on the grass. Shadow did the same with Cream and Cheese.

Just when the author got out another box of cookies, Sonic started to stir.

"Erm, I'll see you in 3 days at the trial Tails. Good luck…" after Shadow said that, he sped off before Sonic could wake up.

Tails then sat down and waited on the cool grass. Sonic was starting to move around again, but he had not woken up yet. As Tails was sitting, he started to wonder about the bully and his intentions. Why was he trying to attack them? It must've just been some crazy person. Tails couldn't shake the feeling though that he would be seeing that person around again. Who was he even?

Tails rubbed his aching hand. The uppercut had made it pretty sore, but after some thought, Tails knew it was worth it. His hand and all of his other aching muscles were worth it. For his friend Sonic. Sonic had always been his big brother, and Tails was simply returning the favor. As the humidity started to fade away into a normal weather condition, Tails got up and put Cream and Cheese on the couch outside of his bed. He then lifted up Sonic and brought him to his room. Tails then placed Sonic on his bed and thought about what to do.

"_I can't just sleep with Sonic in the same bed as him, but I can't leave him on the floor…but then what am I supposed to do?" _Tails anxiously paced around the room wondering what to do with Sonic. And then he had another idea…

Tails picked Sonic up and brought him outside. He then ran as fast as he could…

Meanwhile, Shadow was walking the desolate streets alone. It was different though. He didn't enjoy it in the same way that he used to. There was something missing. Someone perhaps. Who was this someone? Maybe it was just ANYONE? What did he want?

"I want…a friend…like what that kid has…like it used to be with me and Maria."

Shadow stopped.

"But who…who can replace Maria? Who is WORTHY? Who do I even know who is smart enough to comprehend my every word, has the kindness that I was once shown, and can make airplanes when I don't feel like running?"

The author borrowed some Shepherd's Pie from the judge and started to microwave it. He also facepalmed at Shadow not wanting to run *gasp*.

And Shadow turned around.

"I will become friends…with TAILS."

And he sped off into the night. He was going to his local library to figure out what friends do.

And as the author ate his cooked pie, finding it to be good as Mr. Dix said it would be, a dark figure was floating on the surface of an ocean…

"That contemptuous little fox…he will regret having done that…I'll just need to get help from my mom…and then I will not only kill HIM, but I will KILL EVERYONE THAT HE IS FRIENDS WITH!!! And it's all because…of that one day in line…oh…him and his hedgehog pal will rue the day they ever did such a thing…"

The wolf's chuckle turned into a cackle. Then into a mad, murderous laugh. And then coughing. The author laughed at the dude's stupidity.

"YOU TOO! I WILL KILL YOU AUTHOR! BECAUSE YOU MADE TAILS THE MAIN CHARACTER AND YOU MADE A SUBPLOT AT THE SAME TIME YOU REVEALED ME TO BE THE MAIN ANTAGONIST IN ORDER TO STEAL CREDIT FROM ME! YOU—"

And just like with Obama, the author decided to make the wolf SHUT UP.

----------

_Shadow doesn't know what friends do? He must've forgotten…looks like we'll be seeing him in the little kid's section soon enough. Well, this chapter was a little more…darker. I hope you liked my non-epic fight scene. And GalexiatheChao, it seems your suggestion is going to come true (or at least part of it). Look out! This story just got a lot more interesting very fast. That's a good thing though, because hopefully, that will give opportunities for more laughs! Hope you enjoyed reading! Happy belated Thanksgiving! __**Review this chapter! **__And here's something new to be put in bold font: __**Subscribe to my story! **__Until then, see you next time!_


	7. Conflict? And GET TO THE TRIAL ALREADY!

_I'm back with a new chapter! So anyway, I feel like doing two things by the end of this novel and I want to know what you think._

_I want to:_

_Make a SparkNotes type thing at the end of this whole "writing" stuff for this story. I also want to make a link to me reading this in a "theatrical" sort of way (you know, like an audiobook)._

_Of course, it's purely for enhancing the story. ;) I'd like suggestions if you have any on whether I should do that. All you have to do is __**tell me your opinion in your review of this chapter.**__ Ok so…I guess we shall now commence with the story. Have fun reading!_

_Oh, did I forget to mention? I changed my mind AGAIN about having this chapter be the one starting to have an epic court case in it. Sorry. *innocent, Tails-like look*_

_Oh, one last thing. If you review, I also want you to __**tell me your favorite part in the story. **__Or if you feel grumpy, tell me your least favorite part._

**Chapter 6**

Sonic woke up. And the author gave no description as to how he woke up (whether it was slowly, with beady blinking eyes and a slow recollection of last night's events, you will never kno—oops).

"Am I in heaven?" Sonic sat up dazed, looking at what looked like his favorite place to run. There were flowers garnished all over the field, sitting there and looking pretty. There was also a tree behind where Sonic was lying, and he saw that single familiar knothole on it.

Yes, it was heaven.

And then he saw Tails.

"What?! No! He couldn't have died…unless…that wolf…oh Tails…"

And THEN Sonic realized that it wasn't heaven. Because it started to become very cloudy. A thunderstorm was approaching. FAST.

"Crazy weather? I guess we're still on Mobius little bro. Wake up Tails! We gotta juice!"

Tails laid there in a very tranquil way. Sonic examined his two-tailed friend closer. He could tell that Tails was quite fatigued. What for? He didn't know. No time to figure out though.

"Looks like I'm getting us both out of here."

And Sonic ran off.

_Meanwhile…_

"Do you have any books on how to be…a friend?"

The librarian looked down from her reading and gave the black hedgehog a quizzical look.

"Why do you need to know?" the librarian interrogated the hedgehog in a very irritated manner. This was a good book she was reading.

"Because."

"Look in the little kid's section downstairs." And the librarian continued to read her enthralling novel: _War and Peace: The Sequel! (now with over 9000!!! more pages)_

As Shadow descended the stairwell to the basement, he figured that this would be too easy…

_Back at Tails's home…_

Tails woke up with a yawn and sat there for a minute.

_One undeniably cute minute of sitting around with the tired look on his face and rubbing his eyes a little (use your imagination…it will end up being quite cute I hope)…_

"Huh? Wait, where's Sonic?"

Tails rushed downstairs as panic struck him. Sonic hadn't run away from him because he was technically under custody…or well…legal guardianship. Tails then suddenly smelled a familiar aroma coming from the kitchen. At that moment, all worry melted away from Tails.

Sonic was cooking chili dogs.

"Hey Tails! Looks like someone finally woke up!" Sonic cheerily exclaimed as Tails ran into the room, relieved that Sonic wasn't getting himself into any trouble.

"Hi Sonic! I was afraid you ran off for a jog without me."

"Hey, I'm the one who should be taking care of you here!"

"But the court order technically puts you under my…umm…"

"Legal guardianship?"

Tails hesitated, then smiled.

"I guess so."

"Well then I guess we get to switch places. You get to cook, and I get to ask a lot of questions like you usually do when I'm around."

As Tails walked over to stove and Sonic went to the table, the two continued their conversation.

"So first off 'big bro'," the hedgehog said with a mischievous smile. "What happened with you and that bully?"

"Oh him? Well…he said he wanted to kill me…and then you too…"

Sonic's face darkened. Already, this was a bit disturbing.

"So what happened?"

"Well he kept on teasing me and said that we were freaks…and then after that he said he was going to kill us…and I got really angry…"

Sonic nodded. Then with a concerned look he asked "Did he attack you?"

"He was going to, but I attacked him first."

Sonic couldn't help but grin. "Got in the first blow eh?"

Tails grinned equally as wide as Sonic. "I got all of the punches in."

"Really?" Sonic asked slightly amazed.

"Yeah, he was a big chicken too."

And the two laughed, making clucking noises as they mocked the to-be murderer.

"Ok then, so then what happened?"

"Well, Shadow came and helped get you guys home, and I put Cream and Cheese to bed. Then I decided where to put you and—"

"Stop there. You tried to figure out where we could both sleep comfortably, despite there being only one bed?"

"Umm, yeah!"

"And you picked my favorite spot to rest after I ran. Right under that tree."

Tails looked away shyly. "Yeah…I hope you didn't mind."

"Nah! That was a great pick!"

"Thanks Sonic. I'm glad it didn't rain while we were there."

"Actually, it was going to when I woke up."

"Oh! I hope you didn't get wet!"

"Chill out! Nothing takes me, Sonic the Hedgehog, by surprise! Even if it rained, my old senses would have come shaking me awake yelling, 'Hey! Wake up!' And if that didn't work, I'd always have you as a back-up."

Tails smiled as he stirred the chili aimlessly, listening intently to Sonic's usual humor. They both laughed again.

"And now my second question for you Tails…are those chili dogs done yet?"

"Yup! Just about done!"

Tails turned the stove off and prepared the chili dogs making sure to add extra cheese to his own dog and extra chili for Sonic.

And as they sat down to eat, with Sonic bantering over the details of the fight, little did they know who was watching them.

"They weren't even worried about me for a minute! Well…once I get help from my mom AND a little someone else…I will finally put my plan into action…and I will have my revenge!"

Laughing, insane laughing, and coughing followed. No one cared.

"HEY! I—"

"Shut up." The author told the wolf sternly.

"Grr…fine then. I'll just go on to do my plan!"

"Whatever. I'm going to go talk with the judge."

_Meanwhile, with the judge and author…_

"Hey Mr. Dix?"

"Yes?"

"I lost the game."

"Ah! You got me."

"Heh. Oh hey Mr. Dix, while you're alive, could you give me some help on this economic concept here? I need a little help figuring out this supply and demand example."

"Well sure. I'd be glad to distract you from possibly letting you vandalize a building or do other 'teenagery' stuff."

"Mr. Dix, teenagers could be reading this right now."

"So? If you're that worried about people getting the wrong impression about you, just put a disclaimer at the beginning or something. You're the author!"

_At the hospital Mr. Wood is in…_

Mr. Wood looked at his face. He only got a second to look at it before his reflection quit.

"M-my face! What happened?"

"Well! A few pounds of concrete landing on it happened!" said a random doctor checking on Mr. Wood. "Just be glad it didn't make you stupider than you already are…pfft. You are a stubborn lawyer who just can't back down from a case can you?"

Mr. Wood only half listened, still dazed at himself.

As the doctor walked away shaking his head, Mr. Wood THOUGHT RATIONALLY. And the author was shocked to find Mr. Wood could actually do such a thing.

Suddenly, chatter was heard outside of his room.

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours—"

"Screw you."

And the wolf entered and locked the door behind him.

Mr. Wood immediately got up from his bed, only to fall flat on his face onto the floor.

"Mark, get up."

Mr. Wood didn't respond at first. Then he slowly got up, keeping eye contact with the mysterious new acquaintance.

"H-how—"

The wolf stopped him. He then took out a small photograph and handed it to Mr. Wood.

"N-no!"

"Actually Mark, yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"NO!!!"

"YES!!!"

"N—"

"Just shut up! I AM your COUSIN!"

"NO!!! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

_A painful one minute later…_

"Just shut up and listen will you! I am your cousin! Arthur Campbell Loup Timothy Wood! Notice the French word in there for wolf and how all my speech is in exclamations! I am here to help you."

"D-d-do what?"

Arthur smiled wickedly. "Get revenge."

Mr. Wood shrunk into his covers.

"Oh now don't be afraid. It is for your benefit and mine."

Mr. Wood was still peeking over his covers meekly. Arthur ignored him and continued.

"I am out for revenge…against Sonic and his friend Tails. It is all because of that one day…"

Waiting for the flashback? Too bad! I don't want to give one for here!

"WHAT?!?!"

The author blew a raspberry at Arthur. And his name.

"Hey! My name is awesome!"

"No. I don't think so."

"Grr…fine! I'll just have to tell it myself."

*ahem*

"Sonic let his friend Tails into line ahead of him for a chili dog. I figured it was just letting someone cut the line, so I got angry at Sonic. And I accidentially hit him. Then I lost all reputation for being a lawyer ever sin—"

"Umm, excuse me?"

Arthur turned to look at Mr. Wood. "Yes?"

"How are you my cousin? I mean you are only like, 16 I think based on your looks and what the judge said about—"

"SHUT UP! I AM!"

Mr. Wood retreated himself further into the covers.

"Anyway! I am a genius lawyer, but cannot use my skills because everyone hates me now…so now, I will help you. What will happen is that I will tell you every single thing you should say, and at the end when Sonic is declared guilty, Sonic will run away, knowing that he is innocent. Then, I will be waiting to fight Sonic and his two-tailed friend. After they die by an 'accident' I will declare Sonic a runaway and Tails his accomplice who would've been put in jail anyway for trying to escape! Then the world will REALLY know who is the innocent one! Do you understand?"

Mr. Wood had asphyxiated himself using the blankets.

"What? BAH! I guess I'll have to tell him later."

"You mean about your lame idea of blaming your problems on Sonic and Tails?"

"Well that's not all of it. I'm also jealous of Tails's intelligence and awesomeness and—hey! You can't do that!"

"Yes I can, I'm the author. I just made you say that in front of the readers."

"BAH!"

"W-w-wuh?" Mr. Wood woke up.

Arthur turned to look at the dog. "I will help you take out Tails…and his SPEED!"

Mr. Wood sat there. And then he smiled goofily.

"Hehe…YES! I'M GOING TO BE FAMOUS AND SHOW THAT FOX UP! His speed will not help him THIS TIME!"

Arthur laughed at Mr. Wood's stupidity and walked out of the room.

"Yes…I have been waiting for a chance to do this…Sonic has finally been arrested…and I will have my revenge!"

Laughing, insane—oh you know what happens. Mostly it's the coughing of course, but yeah…

"Hey Tom?"

"Yeah Mr. Dix?"

"If you have all this time on your hands, you should join the robotics club again. I do think this year will really be a thriller and with me gone, the team might need that research team leader again…"

And as the author, erm, himself, chuckled in his head, Tails got a little surprise.

_At Tails's house…_

*ding dong*

"_Who could that be?" _Tails thought to himself.

He opened the door. No one.

Oh except for a MOUNTAIN OF STUFF.

"Umm…Sonic? Can you help me move this stuff?"

Sonic raced over. "Woah! That's a lot of stuff someone gave you."

He then looked at the tags. _To: Tails, From: your friend_

Sonic and Tails then brought all the stuff back into the house with a puzzled look on their faces.

"_Well, this is pretty easy so far." _Shadow mused to himself.

He looked back into the book he checked out. _Friends always do nice things for each other! _It had a picture of a boy giving lots of gifts to his friend.

"_Next page…it says that friends will always give…LOTS OF HUGS?!?!?!"_

Shadow then crashed through a tree and stumbled down a hill.

This was going to be harder than he thought…

----------

_Well, that was a quickly written chapter, though a decently long one. Anyway, remember to __**review this chapter and talk about my suggestion in the review.**__ Hope you guys liked the little conflict I put in instead of the trial! And you thought that Tails was just going to keep on serving Mr. Wood! Well now he gets to serve a different genius instead! We hope anyway…it's funny how I started writing this on a whim and didn't even know what was going to happen next. Well! Hope you enjoyed reading as always! Until next time! Au revoir!_


	8. FINALLY! After the hiatus comes

_So after an interesting talk with Lord Kelvin, I had a nice long hiatus for no reason at all except to drive you folks crazy. Thankfully though, I am for real about actually doing the court scene! *gasp* I do have my doubts though as you see as the author goes through great turmoil in the middle of the chapter. Today, I'm making these author's notes short. Let's get to the good stuff!_

**Chapter 7**

After 3 days of Tails's "legal guardianship" (I'm never going to get used to saying that.), the trial was back underway. Mr. Wood had also recovered and with his newfound help, was confident that now, he would finally show up that two tailed fox. Arthur hid in the rafters, now reconstructed in LEED Silver Certified standards for environmental friendliness, and had a headset on. Mr. Wood glanced up for a split second to acknowledge Arthur. He then secretly put the earpiece into his ear and put on some earmuffs to hide them. They were pink and fluffy. And as Arthur facepalmed himself at Mr. Wood's horrible choice of attire, the author noticed Shadow was not in the rafters yet…

Shadow took a look at the book. Besides a few splash stains, the book was intact.

"Foolish fish…trying to gobble up the ultimate lifeform."

Shadow had fallen into the lake after crashing through the tree.

But now, a greater task awaited Shadow. He had to find Tails before the trial started. Otherwise, he would have to hug him when he was…in front of other people.

Luckily, the speedy blue hedgehog and his twin-tailed pal rushed by as Shadow was drying himself off. There the two were, determinedly and swiftly hurrying over to the trial. Of course not before visiting a diner with chili dogs in it.

"_I must hug Tails…when no one is looking. But how?" _Shadow puzzled over his problem for a second. And then it hit him…

"Sonic!"

"Huh?" Sonic looked at where Tails was pointing. A cry could be heard.

"Wuh-oh little bro, looks like someone needs help."

"But the trial resumes in a few minutes!"

"Then it looks like something has to give…"

Tails thought for a moment…

"Even though I know you could probably take care of whatever is going on right now behind that tree and then we could get chili dogs and get to the courthouse in time, I think I want to try to handle the whole situation by myself in my expensive 3 piece suit while you get the chili dogs and get into the courtroom."

"Can do!"

And Sonic sped off for absolutely no reason except that he wanted chili dogs…BADLY.

Tails then walked over behind the tree. He was on the opposite side of where the voice came from. Tails slowly inched around until he could almost see the other side. Bracing himself for whatever came at him, he leaped out and started to bash the living daylights out of anything that looked fierce and menacing.

But there was nothing.

Tails was shocked for a moment, but he got aggressive again and perked up his senses.

It was an obvious trap…

"Show yourself! What are you going to do? Stay there until you find the perfect opportunity to jump on my back?"

Nothing happened.

After a while, Tails figured he was wasting his time. He turned around halfway only to feel a force fly into his back.

"Aaahh!!! The boogie-man!"

And then it was gone.

And the author got tired of trying to sound descriptive. (yeah, I'm lazy. Sue me!)

Tails got up and brushed himself off, he looked around again and tried to find his opponent. Finding none, he ran off cautiously, checking his back every now and then.

"Well, I got that over with." Shadow murmured to himself as he read the next instruction.

"Friends always…cheer each other up when one is down. Reasonable."

But Shadow knew secretly, that it'd be hard to find a moment where the little fox would be *GASP* sad…

_Meanwhile…_

The crowd was getting anxious. They anxiously waited for the arrival of Tails. And as they anxiously waited around, Amy anxiously bit her fingers again. And everyone was anxious. Even the author was anxious. He was afraid that he would not cause enough anxiousness in everyone. Especially if he kept overusing the word "anxious" and other forms of it.

Shadow then surreptiou—err I mean, anxiously walked in, hoping that no one saw him hug Tails from behind. He anxiously snuck up back into the rafters unnoticed. And the author made "anxious" the word of the chapter because he was beginning to like it. Even though he only anxiously liked the word, hoping that other anxious readers would read his story while anxiously awaiting the trial part to begin.

As the author decided to stop using the word anxious, Tails WALKED IN!

And the crowd went wild!!!

[insert random cheering sound FX here]

Tails humbly walked across through the aisle and sat down at the defense table. Court was brought to order. The judge was about to resume the trial, when suddenly, he detected strange vibes coming from the author…

Time paused.

"Ok Thomas, what's the problem?"

"Oh man Mr. Dix, I just had this great idea about how the trial should end, but I'm not sure if I want to do it now or later, because if I did it now, then it would be like, totally unexpected…but I want to write a really awesome other part first before that, otherwise I'll feel like a douche."

"Then go with the second option! You can write the ending and the middle of the trial! See?"

"But I might forget the epic ending!"

"Then write it down!"

"I'm too lazy…" the author sighed despondently as he banged his head on the wall.

"…You're afraid of the story ending too early aren't you?"

"I looked up. Well…yeah, I guess if the trial ends it would probably be a bit disappointing…"

Mr. Dix smiled at me, then whispered something into my head (wait, but he's dead…oh whatever, he's that AWESOME)

I perked up. "Mr. Dix…thanks."

And we both smiled at each other.

I then got back to the story with a renewed air of confidence. This could not fail at all.

"Prosecution, I believe, is now presenting the opening statement."

Mr. Wood stood up, but there was something a little different about him. He didn't take a painful minute to stand up, nor was he as shaky as he had been before. He didn't seem to mind the piercing glares, the tense atmosphere, or the incessant purring of Mr. Dix's microwave.

Everyone could tell that something wasn't right.

"Sonic, what's happened to Mr. Wood?"

"I dunno bro, but I got a bad feeling about this…"

Mr. Wood shuffled towards the jury.

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury. We all love a good hero. We oftentimes look up to them as a source of encouragement even in our everyday lives. When it seems there is no strength left in us, no courage in our hearts, no valor in our men and kindness in our children, we desperately try to find that one special person. The one who is different. And that is what our heroes are there for. We strive to be like them, seeing their altruism and moral integrity impels us to try to be just as righteous as them."

At this point, everyone was gaping. They couldn't tell if Mr. Wood had gone insane and was helping Sonic or if he had turned into a maniacal genius in the hospital. Arthur looked down for a quick second, watching their shock and slight awe. He smiled to himself.

The judge stared intently as well. But more because of the fuzzy pink earmuffs than "Mr. Wood's" little speech.

"And what happens when heroes fall?"

The spectators snapped out of their trance and went back to their normal state of suspicion of Mr. Wood.

"When a hero dies, we generally honor them with the highest respect. But what if the hero does not die physically? What if this hero...in our case Sonic, dies in his heart? What if our hero stumbles and fails to uplift the values that we hold dear in our hearts? If he turns away and rather than being the one beacon of light, turns into a cynical, malicious—"

"Objection." Tails spoke up and glared at Mr. Wood just a little.

"Sustained."

"_Hmm…won't let me get away with a few indirect personal attacks…good, good. It's been a while since I've had a challenge…" _Arthur contemplated to himself.

"What if rather being that one beacon of light, becomes what we call…a lawbreaker?"

The crowd murmured. The judge brought the court to order.

"My task is simple, yet agonizing. Show this fallen hero for what he has done. It is my job, and so I shall, simply put, show that Sonic the Hedgehog has caused great collateral damage without regard for the law."

And Mr. Wood shuffled back to his seat.

Every single person in that room murmured some more. The judge did not bring the court to order this time, as his microwave had finally dinged again, signaling that his pie was ready. Everyone gazed at Mr. Wood. Then at Sonic. Then back to Mr. Wood. Then to the judge. And back to Mr. Wood. They just couldn't believe the transformation.

Two people were unfazed however. Guess who?

*Jeopardy theme plays…*

Well it's pretty obvious who they were, so we're just not going to talk anymore about it. The two looked at each other and then scoffed.

Piece of cake.

Tails nonchalantly stood up and with a stern demeanor, walked over to the jurors, cleared his throat, and began his opening statement.

"Everything the prosecution has told you about heroes is true. At least, what he said about heroes in general is. Yet the prosecution has a greater job than he has pointed out to you. The prosecution can't simply show you that the defendant is guilty. They have to _prove_ that the defendant is guilty."

Arthur looked down at the fox and scowled. "_Undermining my MANIPULATION of the jury's emotion? I hate those kind of PUNK moves…"_

"Today the defense will show you that the prosecution has little evidence, little argument for motive—"

"Objection!"

The judge blinked. The crowd blinked. I blinked. Even Arthur couldn't believe how stupid his own statement that he made Mr. Wood say sounded. So he blinked too.

"Grounds?" the judge replied.

"…Didn't we already do the opening statement?"

The judge doubled back and did a spit take. It headed straight for Tails, who proceeded to calmly lift up an umbrella and use it to redirect the current onslaught of enzyme-filled liquid. It hit Mr. Wood instead.

"_I…hate…that…kid and his SPEEEEDDD!!!"_

Mr. Wood screamed in his head as he sat down and waited for a response. It was after that moment that time froze and the judge looked at me because oohhhh boyy I'm in trouble.

"You made me go back to the opening statement?"

"Erm…yeah?"

"…Fix it. Now."

"I'll let you do that since you're the judge. Oh wait, I still have to do it because I control what you say…umm…ok I got it. Let's get back to the trial." The author soon filled himself up with some new energy and proceeded to make up for lost time.

"You're right Mr. Wood. Let's just get back to your witnesses." The judge said calmly (though he was also screaming in his head) as he unfroze time and sat down in his chair.

"_Not only did he dodge the spit take from the judge as well as me, but he splashed it all over ME! Who is this kid? Or maybe…oh whatever. Maybe things will change after the trial…"_

Mr. Wood then cleared his throat and asked to call Mr. LeBlanc onto the stand…somehow…

"Monsieur LeBlanc, thank you for coming today as a witness against Sonic."

"Oui."

"Yes, yes…" Mr. Wood waited for his cousin to think of how to respond.

_A less painful one minute later…_(do I have to say it again? ONLY MR. WOOD CAN MAKE A MINUTE PAINFUL)

"Monsieur LeBlanc, where were you during your police shift at 9:16 AM?"

"Je suis allé au bâtiment à la septième étage parce que j'ai demandé à propose de le délit."

Mr. Wood's eyes bugged out, and then he slowly put his hand over his face because he forgot to check if his witness spoke in English.

"Can you say that in English?"

"Non! Je pense anglais, mais je ne parle pas anglais." The police officer gave a hard look at Mr. Wood's incompetence.

*over headset* "…What?! WHY do I get stuck with the most retarded cousin of my family?! Why in the world did you get a witness who can't even speak English?! Aren't you capable of doing anything besides sitting around and doing nothing?!"

As Arthur started shouting through the headset with all the whispered anger he could muster, Tails blinked. And Tails took a good look at Mr. Wood. It was obvious to him that he was overcome with fear over something.

"Sonic?" Tails asked with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Yeah Tails?"

"Why do you think Mr. Wood picked a _French _witness?" Tails asked earnestly.

"I dunno bro. It could just be his incompetence, or maybe it has been preplanned by some guy up in the sky we can't see, but that he controls all of our lives. But I don't know. The important thing is, I think due to all the technicalities in this case, they might just forget about it…"

"Guy in the sky? Guy at a computer man!" the author exclaimed angrily as he stomped his foot. "Then again, technically I am made from God and stuff so…" And as I got into a religious conversation with myself, Tails thought about Sonic's words…

"That's true." Tails noted to himself. The court might just drop the case if Tails played his cards right. He then tipped his chair back a little and engrained himself in deep thought.

Suddenly, Mr. Wood then calmed down. Albeit only a little, but he then stood up with a slight quiver and addressed the judge.

"Your honor, due to the technicalities of this trial and all the mishaps that have happened, I think this case should be declared a mistrial." Mr. Wood closed his eyes and hoped the magic words would pop up.

The judge looked away from his microwave which was making more Shepherd's Pie. "Well, it seems reasonable enough I suppose. I think you're right."

"_There's the first word."_ Mr. Wood thought as he tightened his grip on his memo pad on the table.

"Well since we're all pretty worn out and I've got to get back to heave—I mean, the next case..."

"_Number two…one more…"_ Mr. Wood waited for it…

"this case is now declared a mis—"

"OBJECTION!" Tails screamed out before the judge could finish the last word Mr. Wood was looking for.

"_Dang it! The judge didn't say the last word!" _

"Prosecution is goading the defense into a **mistrial**."

Indeed Mr. Wood was right. Tails had said the last word instead.

"I think this case should simply be dismissed due to the unsubstantial evidence…"

And as Tails went on a nice little rant, Shadow was intently paying attention to his book and the trial simulataenously.

"_A boring speech part? Maybe now I'll read the next page in this book while Tails is at it." _Shadow was almost finished reading his book about friendship.

"Good friends always say important things they hear about their friend." Shadow whispered to himself. _"Great, how am I going to do that? It's not like I'm one for gossip…so what can I tell?"_

Shadow looked around for any trace of hope for fulfilling all the requirements in the book. How would he get information about Tails that Tails would care about?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another person with him in the rafters.

"_Hmm, why would this guy be in the rafters too? Maybe he is a spy? Oh but that's probably not it…"_

Despite this, Shadow then used his Chaos Control to mind read the mysterious man.

"_This fox is putting up such an intriguing argument for a dismissal. Too bad it won't matter when __**I kill him**__!!! Even if I lose this case, I still have a backup plan!!!"_

Shadow thought to himself. Then he saw the headset. He saw the pink earmuffs on Mr. Wood. He saw the twisted smile on Arthur's face.

Shadow hated people who had these silly smirks. And from what he could tell, this guy needed a lesson. So Shadow walked carefully across the beams of the rafters and gave Arthur a friendly tap on the shoulder.

*KAPOW!!!*

"WAHHH!!!!"

And Arthur fell smack dab on top of the table Mr. Wood was sitting at, causing Mr. Wood to faint in pure fright.

Uproar and pandemonium ensued. Meanwhile, the judge, the author, Sonic, Tails, Shadow, and Arthur were the only ones who were able to think clearly.

"Look out Tails! He wants to kill you! And probably everyone else too just to get revenge! I know because I used to be like that!" Shadow hollered down to the chaotic crowd.

Tails and Sonic then quickly zipped into a defensive formation and tried to figure out what was going on. Arthur merely smiled casually. The judge, knowing that the author wouldn't kill or injure him because he had already gone through a painful death, turned back to his microwave.

The author then laughed maniacally as he plotted the ending of the story after a pretty epic court scene. :)

"Hey! I'm supposed to laugh maniacally!"

Sonic, Tails, and Shadow blinked.

The author then whispered in Arthur's ear.

"I'm not to be known to them yet. Tell them and you will die NOW. In this chapter. And I will leave it at that and the readers will get so angry and destroy you for causing it."

Arthur tensed up. This made Sonic and Tails tense up. The judge's microwave blew a fuse so he tensed up.

Only Shadow had found a way to relax himself. He finished off a good book. As he turned the last pages, Shadow murmured to himself.

"Good friends are willing to give up their lives for one another, whether figuratively or literally and preferably when a person pulls out a super powered laser cannon and tries to shoot your friend."

And Shadow tensed up at that.

"Oh la la!" Monsieur LeBlanc whimpered softly to himself. No, Monsieur LeBlanc does not fit into the category of characters who are thinking straight.

----------

_Why is everyone running around doing nothing? Why did I make everyone who was not going crazy tense up? Even at the expense of Mr. Dix's unfinished pie?! Was this court case what you thought it would be?!?Was my French half decent?!?! Is "goading into a mistrial even an objection"!?!?!?!! Well I'll answer that last one for you! YES! The other ones you will have to discover in the next (and possibly last) chapter of Tails the (epic) Lawyer!_

_And thanks for waiting sooooo long! College applications and financial aid…grr. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!_

_Special thanks to Zephyr the Wolf who suggested the lake/fish/Shadow thing!_


	9. I can haz insanity maybe

_**Disclaimer:**__ This chapter contains inane (yes, inane is a word) amounts of battling, circuit breakers, cataclysmic events, an emotional catharsis, conflicts of vengeance and utter randomness, and total frustration with just about everything. The following may also not be suitable if you have a history of idiocy, lack of humor, general boredom, attention deficit disorder, a hatred of fictional characters, and/or kidney and liver problems. Do not read more than twice a day. Side effects include crying, despair, insanity, being hated by all your friends when you can't shut up after reading this, death, stroke, coma, and other possible side effects. PM you local fan-fiction write for more details. Always have at least 6 hours of school before becoming imbibed in awesomness, as lack of school may mean you will not be suppressed by the previous boredom of school and be overly active. __**Read at your own risk.**_

**Chapter 8**

Sonic and Tails locked eyes with there nemesis, Arthur. Mr. Wood started to have a little voice speak inside of his head, Shadow slowly, but still dazedly stepped down in the middle of the confrontation. The judge looked around frantically in Tails's briefcase in order to see if he had brought some tools to help. The judge instead found a picture of Sonic, Tails, Tails's house, the doorstep, and a pile…

The judge called court to order, and gave himself a recess. He then ran as fast as he can out of the courtroom.

Sonic and Tails redirected their attention to Arthur, who was chuckling now, much to the surprise of everyone. Amy took out a camera phone and prepared to take some pictures…

"Alright…you've got me!" Arthur was suddenly stern and closed his eyes. A strange aura started glowing around him as he breathed deeply and sharply. The courtroom started to shake and Shadow started to reread the last page of his book.

"Hey Tails bro…you think you can analyze what's going on?"

"Uh, well…yeah." Tails stuttered a bit, staring at the sight before him. He pulled out a strange looking visor and put it on.

Arthur shouted louder.

"Sonic…this…his power level is…over 6…7…8!"

"What?!?" Sonic started to yell over the wind whistling around everywhere. The newly constructed rafters though did not fall over. Hooray. A side wall fell instead.

*BOOM*

"Kyaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Arthur continued to shout…

And then it stopped. As suddenly as it started. With bad descriptions both ways by the author.

"Tails!? What does the scouter say about his power level?!"

Tails, ripped his glasses off and crushed them as he screamed.

"IT'S OVER 9!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*cricket*

Everyone in the room blinked. Shadow only did it because he got something in his eye and had to turn away. *cough*

"What? 9? There's no way that can be right." Sonic replied in a much more disdainful manner as he looked at a confused Tails. The internet meme was ruined, but that was the point of the author…

Tails thought for a second, then looked up and smiled. Sonic and Tails burst out in laughter. Arthur was steaming.

"Hey! Stop laughing at me! I will defeat you and get my revenge! You cut me in line, and you must suffer the consequences! Prepare to die!"

They only started to laugh more.

Arthur pulled out a gun and pointed it at Sonic first. Shadow didn't notice, as his "allergies" were acting up and more stuff kept getting into his eyes. Of course he couldn't let anyone see what was going on. Mr. Wood then looked up and saw the gun. A trace of sanity and a flashback trickled into his mind…

Arthur took aim, clicked the bolt, and—

"HA!"

Arthur looked at the judge and his jaw dropped.

Mr. Dix was no longer the judge in a long flowing robe. He was a slightly greasy, calloused man with a good sense of humor and loud voice. Behind him was an arsenal of wrenches, socket sets, screwdrivers, buzz saws, drills and other variety of workshop tools all wrapped up in pretty bows. Shadow's gifts were now weapons for **Mr. Dix's robotics team!**

"We're not dead yet! It's only a short circuit!" the robotics team shouted in unison their catchphrase for the team. As the author started rotflol-ing at the old robotics team and Monty Python reference, their mascot, the Black Knight, charged in with a huge arc welder.

Arthur shot his arm off.

"Ha! I have a gun, you guys have some scrap metal."

"Oh yeah? Well I'm invincible!!!"

"I just blasted your arm off! Don't you know this is a bolt-action rifle here?"

"…It's only a flesh wound."

"Gadhafvomiewr…WHAT?!?!"

Before Arthur could say anything else, a monkey wrench knocked the gun out of his hand and before you know it, a rain of "scrap metal" delicately pitter pattered on Arthur's head like a small rain shower.

You can guess what happens. No Jeopardy theme here, just your imagination. Take your time, I'll wait…

_1 minute later…_

"Oowww…"

As the robotics team led by Mr. Dix began figuring out how to fix the microwave, Sonic and Tails redirected their attention to Arthur. May large welts had appeared everywhere on his body and face, and he looked quite—

"Hey Tom! Make yourself useful and quickly get a fuse from the inside world!" Mr. Dix stared up through the computer screen.

"Mr. Dix, I'm not sure it works like—"

"Just do it!"

"Fine…"

As the author went away to find a fuse, the computer mysteriously kept typing by itself and the story continued, rather than having a non-painful one minute later. Mr. Wood in the meantime, looked up at his cousin, then the gun that was on the floor, then back to his cousin, then to the gun. As Mr. Wood slowly crept towards the gun in a painful one-minute session, Shadow turned around to stare, seemingly at him. Mr. Wood froze, but then realized that something was wrong with Shadow…there was "water" all over his face. Suddenly the computer started to glitch and there were 67 weather conditions raging on outside. As the courthouse started to creak under all the pressure, Sonic and Tails simply faced Arthur, who had brushed himself off and SUDDENLY TOOK ALL OF THE WRENCHES ON THE GROUND AND THREW IT AT THEM!

They all missed of course. Sonic was too fast, and Tails had mad dodging skills.

"You can't throw wrenches at them to defeat them…Tails has crazy reflexes and Sonic is too fast." Mr. Wood began to tell Arthur in a barely audible voice.

"SHUT UP! No, I will have my revenge no matter what!" Arthur was filled with absolute rage. Nothing was going as planned and it seemed that he was doomed.

Suddenly, an electrical spark from the microwave gave Sonic a small electrical shock.

*faint*

"Sonic!"

Then rain came in through one of the windows as Sonic was still being shocked. Sonic got a seizure.

"I-I-I'm drowning! There's water! Agh-pppppppppppfffffttttttt…"

As Tails leaned down to his incoherent friend, Arthur saw his chance…and took out a super high powered LASER out!

And Shadow turned his head slightly. As the laser charged, Shadow closed his eyes for a moment and looked back at his book. Mr. Wood became one of the people thinking straight for once. And Amy bit her fingernails…again. Tails started to cry, oblivious to his surroundings.

He didn't notice that death was coming…

"Hey guys, what'd I miss?" the author then came back, only to find his keyboard was typing by itself, the story was almost at the climax, the robotics team couldn't fix the microwave, Shadow was in deep thought, Mr. Wood was rational, Sonic was half crazy, Tails was hyperventilating, the weather was crazy—ok so the crazy weather wasn't a surprise to the author, but there was also a GIANT, HUGE LASER ABOUT TO—"

"**HEY! WHERE'S THE FUSE?!"**

"…" No response from the author.

"…I'm going to haunt your dreams now." Mr. Dix said with a half-joking, half-irritated voice.

"Uhh, erm, no I'll go back, I got sidetracked from something…"

_Flashback!..._

The author saw a box of cookies. He proceeded to eat all the cookies. He then needed more cookies. So he went to the grocery store, got a whole bunch of cookies, ate some, was chased down by homeless people, and then went off into a rocket ship to escape, landed in the middle of a cannibalistic tribe, and then—

Suddenly Kanye West interrupted the flashback.

_End Flashback_

"Now, I'm real happy for you, though I'm not really going to let you finish, but Quaker Oatmeal Raisin cookies are the best cookies of all time!"

And just like Barack Obama, I muted out Kanye West and went for the fuse. The keyboard started to mysteriously type again…

Mr. Wood then had an interesting flashback.

_Flashback!..._

Mr. Wood was swinging in the park. A bit lonely at the park, since everyone in the neighborhood made a pact to stay out of a 300 ft radius of Mr. Wood. Everyone except for one little girl who was with him…

"Aww…these swings are too hard." The girl tried to move her legs to swing like the others, but ended up flailing around.

"Here, umm, maybe…I could…help?" the younger Mr. Wood skidded to a stop and stood up tentatively.

"Really? Thanks! I'd really like that…"

Mr. Wood then began to push the little girl on the swing. Higher and higher she went until she could swing by herself…

"Hey! You're really helpful mister."

Mr. Wood, for the first time all day, smiled…

_Back to reality...briefly…_

The laser was changing colors as fast as someone on and acid trip would see it as. Shadow opened his eyes again and stared at the book, then his new best friend, and back at the book. The laser started to countdown. 30 seconds remaining.

Shadow then gave a yell as he tried to tackle Arthur. He was repelled by a force field that became visible for a split second, and then flickered away. There was no getting to Arthur…

_Mr. Wood again…_

The little girl laughed at his joke? It'd never happened before. Never. Not even his parents. Everyone but this girl would tell him to shut up. Always. Except now. The keyboard saw it was making too many sentence fragments and made a note to itself…

A figure walked over and Mr. Wood caught sight of him. A masked figure. The same one as always. Really? His only friend, taken away? Mr. Wood cowered. A smile from behind the mask? Arthur couldn't tell.

Who was he? Why was that person in his life? Why did he come everyday to make his life miserable? And most importantly, why was the keyboard still using sentence fragments?

A gun. A sentence fragment. A shot. And a thud. More sentence fragments as Mr. Wood painfully remembered…

_Back…_

Arthur was laughing too maniacally to care that Shadow was slowly walking in front of Tails. Tails was too worried to care.

_Back…_

Mr. Wood was shocked. Never before did the masked man ever resort to killing! He cried and cried. And the figure laughed as he poured kerosene on the body.

Suddenly, the author walked in.

Mr. Wood exclaimed. What was he doing in a _memory?_

"Mr. Wood, I have been awfully mean to you this whole time in the story, but I am finally revealing to the readers what happened and I promise a good ending for you after this. Also, I am going to reveal the truth to your eyes by interrupting this flashback like Kanye West."

"B-b-but—"

"Mr. Wood! Do you not know? The whole "keyboard is typing by itself" is all a ruse to keep the story going. I was here the whole time and was waiting for this flashback…Mr. Dix knows too, but he played along. Mr. Wood, did you ever know who was behind the mask?"

The author stepped over to the now frozen masked figure. Time and space were still. The mask was taken off and Mr. Wood almost died of a heart attack.

He gaped.

"And now Mr. Wood, you have the choice…what will be the outcome of this story? I tell you the truth, you can be the solution to all the problems in the story, or commit a tragic thing…choose now."

_**Back!!!**_

After the surreal parallel relating to higher beings, though the author is merely human, Mr. Wood jolted back and breathed heavily at the crazy scene inside of his head. He laid on the floor, trying to calm down as everything around him whizzed by. He was lost and as he turned his head, he could not see anything, hear anything, or feel anything.

Except for the gun that lay by his hand.

Mr. Wood stared at the treacherous weapon and looked closer. It was that same gun. The one from years ago.

And for the first time ever, Mr. Wood was not angered at some trivial thing. He _**HATED.**_

As Shadow then spread out his arms and closed his eyes, as Tails just started to realize what was going on, as the robotics team was getting nowhere with that microwave, as the author stared and wondered how he would end the story, and pondered his power as author over the characters in the story…

"Shadow!!!" Tails cried out.

Mr. Wood stood up. With the gun. He turned towards his insane cousin, pointed the gun, and…

The chapter ended.

----------

_And now it's time for the ending author's questioning section, the part of the story where the author goes, and types a question section._

_Can you see the parallel between the author and the characters with, I'll say it, Christianity? And of course, how should I end the story? This is probably the weirdest chapter ever, but that is fitting as it's almost the climax. Even though there is a very morbid feel to the chapter, I tried to keep the humor running, though it is very random humor. As usual. Obviously. Oh there goes the sentence fragments again._

_The next chapter is the last (that doesn't mean there won't be an epilogue though :P). Hope you enjoyed reading, and make sure you look out for the last installment of "Tails the Lawyer". That is all…for now._


	10. This is, well you'll figure out soon

…_This is the last chapter. That means I'm going to have to make that audiobook soon after along with the epilogue or something. Anyway, have fun reading._

**Chapter 9**

…he fired the gun.

Arthur's eyes widened as he stared with a glazed look towards the still standing Shadow. Sonic woke up and next to Tails, and he stared at what had happened. Arthur looked down, hoping not to find what he thought was there. A warm red fluid was leaking out. So it had finally happened. Everyone in the room could tell by the eerie glow on Arthur's face, the weird nonsense that had been happening was finally over.

Arthur choked a bit when he saw it. The machine had no more coolant. He had gotten **the blue screen of death.**

The blue screen stayed there and in the dark room, emitting a constant glow.

Mr. Wood then stood up and snatched the laser cannon machine away from his shocked cousin. He then fumbled around a bit, and as everyone stared at the strange transformed Mr. Wood, he took out a small little piece from the machine.

The first to cheer was the robotics team and Mr. Dix, as he held up the fusein victory and proceeded to put it in the microwave.

Sonic was the next to cheer, applauding Mr. Wood's seemingly impossible usage of a mechanized weapon.

Shadow was next, as now he would not die, and he had offered to step in front of the cannon and die for Tails, so it all worked out and he had finally finished the book.

Then the crowd still in the benches started thinking rationally again and they started to cheer.

And Tails simply smiled at Mr. Wood, for he had done the right thing.

Arthur slowly turned to his cousin who for once in his life, was being praised…more than him?

"Y-you! I thought I taught you long ago—"

"You did. Mostly, all you taught me was what kind of person you really were. Funny, that's the closest my only relative had ever gotten to revealing anything personal." Mr. Wood then gave his own piercing glare. Arthur doubled back.

"S-so I killed her, and all you do is shoot my gun? What good does that do you? You should've shot me."

"Ah, but you see Arthur," Mr. Wood started walking towards Arthur as he recoiled. "that's where the most important lesson you taught me comes in."

Arthur looked at Mr. Wood in confusion and fear. "W-what do you m-mean?"

Tails then spoke up. "Because Mr. Wood may have been scared all these times in court for some reason."

"It was because of your ability to dodge spit takes, but I get what you're getting at kid." Mr. Wood turned back to Arthur. "Killing you would have been more cowardly than any other thing I've ever done."

*Ding!* The microwave finished with the pie.

"Well Mr. Wood, I'm glad you're not scared of me anymore. I really would have liked to talk to you more." Tails said excitedly.

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about that whole incident in the diner with the spaghetti." Mr. Wood rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, I'm sorry too for using that umbrella to splash the judge's spit take on you." Tails did the same with his hand.

"And I'm sorry for jumping on your back and making you think I was the boogie man." Shadow said to Tails.

_Silence…_

"Anyway!" everyone turned towards the judge. "I declare another 60 minute recess to celebrate this day with a lot of pie and my fixed up microwave. Now where's that bulky bailiff guy in his boots or something? He's got to take the real criminal in here to jail!"

"Actually, I was thinking we could dismiss the case." Mr. Wood declared.

"Actually! We were thinking of a settlement just now." Tails and Sonic looked towards the judge and Mr. Wood.

Mr. Wood raised his eyebrow. "But we all know you're innocent now! I even found out it was my cousin who did it. Oh and by the way Your Honor, you revealed your bias towards Sonic to the jury."

"And you just revealed you knew who did the deed."

"Oh! Right…hehe."

"Well Mr. Wood, we have time to discuss this over some Shpeherd's Pie…and chili dogs."

"I'll go get them now!" and Sonic tore off with some money.

Shadow then gave Tails another hug for some reason, and Mr. Dix took out 100 more microwavable Shepherd's Pie and another microwave.

"Hey! You had a spare microwave this whole time!" the author yelled out jokingly to the judge.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't want to use it or else it would ruin some of the humor from the story, like my microwave being fixed by getting a fuse from Arthur's gun."

"Aha, right. Well thanks for making the story more exciting Mr. Dix!"

"Hey, I'm just a dead character who has been used in a story, you're the author."

"But does that mean you have no free will as a character, even though I know everything that is going to happen in the story?"

And as another theological conversation arose, everyone ate a feast of chili dogs, Shepherd's Pie, and some spam (besides one particularly picky person who did not like the spam, everyone was happy). Shadow revealed to Tails that he was his new best friend and Sonic and Shadow has a small argument via a race, Tails and Mr. Wood agreed to a settlement for Sonic to rebuild the collapsed building, which he did as he raced with Shadow. Cream got to do more fish slapping to the "big bully" aka Arthur before he was dragged down to the dungeo—I mean jail cell. Amy clipped her ragged nails and proceeded to chase after Sonic, and the robotics team used their robots to serve all the food and even get the cooking done faster.

The case ended and everyone went home, including Amy, as Tails gave Knuckles a little money to "escort" Amy home. The judge then went back up to heaven because he would not be needed in the story really anymore and Shadow, after surprise hugging Tails again, ran off before Tails could say anything.

Mr. Wood shook hands with Tails and said goodbye.

And Sonic and Tails were in the courtroom, eating up the last two chili dogs. After they finished eating, they talked about the day they had and everything that happened. They surely would never forget this experience together, as the trials they had faced together never compared to what they had experienced in the past 4 days. (Get it? Trials? Yeah not funny I know…)

As they finished up talking, they checked the time. 8:00 PM.

"Hey Sonic?"

"Yeah Tails?"

"…We still need to do that victory lap before bedtime."

Sonic bolted up, overturning the whole bench he was sitting on. "Well then what are we waiting for? Let's motor out of this drab old place!"

And as Sonic and Tails were about to speed off to finish their victory lap, a brooding Mr. Wood in a cramped little dungeon--*smack* **jail cell** smiled to himself for a portion of a second.

"Hehe, I may be here, but Tails's plane has a bomb rigged to it. All by me, ME! HAHA! I will still have my revenge, even if I'm not a hero…"

A resurrected Dr. Robotnik then came and looked up at the author. He was creepy and smelly, because he was a zombie.

"A plane! Now I can go attack the author by flying high enough to reach him."

As the author rolled his eyes, Robotnik started the ignition and…

***BOOM!!!***

"**MWAHAHAHAAA!!!** They're dead!"

"Actually," the author replied. "I made a zombified Robotnik die from using the plane."

"WHAT?!?!?! Gahhh!!!"

And as Arthur started foaming at the mouth from having his plot foiled by the author, Sonic and Tails looked back briefly at the scene.

"What was that?" Sonic asked.

"It might have been my plane." Tails said. "Maybe someone saw it there and tried to fly it but crashed…either way, Shadow gave that kit of tools, so I can just make a better plane, jet, or maybe even an airship..."

"Right then! Well, let's finish that victory lap!"

And they ran off into the night together, as friends…with Shadow tagging along at the last minute and the author having ruined the ending with that.

But the thing was, Sonic, Tails, and Shadow didn't mind. Not one bit.

_Fin? (Or epilogue coming?)_

----------

_**Important notice below, please read.**_

_Holy carp! Yes carp! That fish did not nom-nom up Shadow (remember that?). Ermm…yeah so that is the conclusion to my weird little story. It was short, but I like it so you can't say anything! :(. Just kidding dudes, you can always tell me you hated the ending. Politely of course._

_I want to thank anyone who reviewed and subscribed, as the really brightened my day when I was feeling slow at writing. Ok maybe Lord Kelvin is a different story, but meh._

_I am planning on writing an epilogue, and if anyone wants to __**help me make this an audiobook**__, it would be greatly appreciated if you auditioned. Just send me a media file of some acting, preferably from some of the scenes in this story. Trust me, I could tell the whole story myself, but I cannot really act out multiple voices accurately, even if it is in my own style. Probably because I'd have to read by chapter and stop and start, and that's no good. The finished audiobook will hopefully have sound effects (like one of those old radio drama story tellings), and all that good stuff._

_If you want to audition for the audiobook, please PM me __**or **__mail me at __ with the heading "Audiobook", and we can talk and you can give a sample. __**Or**__ you can contact me via Skype, as then I could actually hear you live and talk and stuff. In fact, if all the auditioners had Skype, we could just record the whole story via group calling. Or something. I'm a bit new to Skype._

_And remember! Guitar Hero and Rock Band microphones work for recording your voice, as they have USB ports. That's what I use, and it's good because those mics have noise cancelling for the game, so it's useful for blocking out excess noise._

_Please please please audition, because I will be happy, and I hope to make this little dream of mine a reality. It is voluntary of course, but you will get credit at the end when I release this. Thank you, have a good day, and of course __**thanks for reading!!! :-)**_


End file.
